Thursday, December 27, 2007

Descanso

Winter break is not for the weak-hearted. I can hear the jeers from thousands of Suave fans as they react to this comment. Still, the truth is, not everyone can handle huge gobs of vacation time. If I'm wrong, I challenge you to quit your current job and join the ranks of us "seasonally employed". Can you live up to the society's huge expectations of those compelled to fill hours of free time?
Why, I am writing this blog smack-dab in the middle of an island of rest and relaxation: one of Public Education's many ironies, the Christmas Vacation. For an institution that frowns at any form of personal expression beyond the book report, seems odd that it closes for a couple of weeks in the name of a Messiah. Come on, the "Holiday Break" hardly masks the intent. Ho-ho.
While most of the adult world labors in darkness, let me share with you a day in the life of an idle man. Let's review yesterday, the day after Christmas, which just happens to be celebrated by half the world while school is out.
1. Woke up, checked for paper (mere ceremony)
2. Tinkered with one of Pepinita's toys that I have not yet assembled as needed
3. Gathered layers of clothes and skates
4. P. Suave and the chicks left the house in search of a sheet of ice
5. After circling town, found some free skating at a rink on our side of town (thank goodness we took the Asian Express. The Bavarian Express would have sucked a tank of gas)
6. Skated in wide circles, pausing to fall from time to time. The highlight was watching Pepinita practice jumping over the boards to sit on the bench, "like they do on t.v.", and then jumping over the boards back onto the ice. She found much more diversion in this than in actually skating. A rink employee eventually came around to tell us we had to stay on the ice, didn't want anyone cracking their cranium.
7. Picked up our good friend and Free Market Fanatic, Contable, and drove back across town to a warehouse of bulk merchandise. We bought things we never intended, but saved a ton of dough.
8. Dropped Chicks off at the Butcher of Pepinoville for a shampoo and haircut.
9. Balanced check book
10. Ate dinner of left-over Christmas ham and read until bedtime

You, too, can live the life of Riley. Join us, won't you?

Disfrutando del tiempo libre,

Peps

Monday, December 03, 2007

Mal Economia

Underfunded Schools Forced To Cut Past Tense From Language Programs
November 30, 2007


WASHINGTON—Faced with ongoing budget crises, underfunded schools nationwide are increasingly left with no option but to cut the past tense—a grammatical construction traditionally used to relate all actions, and states that have transpired at an earlier point in time—from their standard English and language arts programs.

A Chicago-area teacher begins the new past tense–free curriculum.
A part of American school curricula for more than 200 years, the past tense was deemed by school administrators to be too expensive to keep in primary and secondary education.
"This was by no means an easy decision, but teaching our students how to conjugate verbs in a way that would allow them to describe events that have already occurred is a luxury that we can no longer afford," Phoenix-area high-school principal Sam Pennock said. "With our current budget, the past tense must unfortunately become a thing of the past."
In the most dramatic display of the new trend yet, the Tennessee Department of Education decided Monday to remove "-ed" endings from all of the state's English classrooms, saving struggling schools an estimated $3 million each year. Officials say they plan to slowly phase out the tense by first eliminating the past perfect; once students have adjusted to the change, the past progressive, the past continuous, the past perfect progressive, and the simple past will be cut. Hundreds of school districts across the country are expected to follow suit.
"This is the end of an era," said Alicia Reynolds, a school district director in Tuscaloosa, AL. "For some, reading and writing about things not immediately taking place was almost as much a part of school as history class and social studies."
"That is, until we were forced to drop history class and social studies a couple of months ago," Reynolds added.
Nevertheless, a number of educators are coming out against the cuts, claiming that the embattled verb tense, while outmoded, still plays an important role in the development of today's youth.
"Much like art and music, the past tense provides students with a unique and consistent outlet for self-expression," South Boston English teacher David Floen said. "Without it I fear many of our students will lack a number of important creative skills. Like being able to describe anything that happened earlier in the day."
Despite concerns that cutting the past-tense will prevent graduates from communicating effectively in the workplace, the home, the grocery store, church, and various other public spaces, a number of lawmakers, such as Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch, have welcomed the cuts as proof that the American school system is taking a more forward-thinking approach to education.
"Our tax dollars should be spent preparing our children for the future, not for what has already happened," Hatch said at a recent press conference. "It's about time we stopped wasting everyone's time with who 'did' what or 'went' where. The past tense is, by definition, outdated."
Said Hatch, "I can't even remember the last time I had to use it."
Past-tense instruction is only the latest school program to face the chopping block. School districts in California have been forced to cut addition and subtraction from their math departments, while nearly all high schools have reduced foreign language courses to only the most basic phrases, including "May I please use the bathroom?" and "No, I do not want to go to the beach with Maria and Juan." Some legislators are even calling for an end to teaching grammar itself, saying that in many inner-city school districts, where funding is most lacking, students rarely use grammar at all.
Regardless of the recent upheaval, students throughout the country are learning to accept, and even embrace, the change to their curriculum.
"At first I think the decision to drop the past tense from class is ridiculous, and I feel very upset by it," said David Keller, a seventh-grade student at Hampstead School in Fort Meyers, FL. "But now, it's almost like it never happens.
(excerpt from The Onion - www.theonion.com)
Para el futuro,
Profesor Suave

Sunday, December 02, 2007

El Domingo Feo

Snow, ice, sleet, and freezing rain has pummeled Metropolitan Pepinoville since early yesterday evening. Thankfully, the cats and dogs aren't in this particular biblical weather system.
The Good Pastor Julie has assigned Yours Truly to be the Lutheran Weather Watchman for Pepinoville's Lutheran Saints of the Potluck Church and Fellowship Hall. I'll count it as my stewardship for this season (Note to Pastor: what box on the envelope do I check?).
As Lutherans aren't tied to the ol' salvation by deeds, I don't really have to shovel snow or scrape ice. My obligation extends to looking at the frozen muck, pondering "why is this?", and having faith that it, too, will pass in time; like every worldly event but maybe the Easter Vigil service (attended once by my Upper Case Catholic family members who still swear that its length and relative monotony exempt them from mass for a year. Its like paying penance forward, they claim).
The Good Pastor has this humble lamb stationed out in front of the church at dawn, bound in long underwear and a baggy winter coat, to inform her decision to close service or not (which is irrelevant 'cause Lutherans don't let Acts of God stop us. We'd drive miles in a plague of flying frogs to get to Coffee Hour). Still, it gives this ol' Pepino a purpose beyond my action-packed Sunday School lessons (I plan to have the Junior Christians play Books of the Bible Bumpity-Bump-Bump this morning, weather permitting [Kids stand in a circle, me in the middle, and if I point to you, you have to shout out your book of the Bible before I say Bumpity-Bump-Bump. Stinks to be Thessalonians]).
See ya' in the Narthex!

Ten fe,

Pepino "Weatherman" Suave

Headline News

Cat survives 19 days with peanut butter jar stuck on head
BARTLETT, Tenn. (AP) -- Tabitha Cain has fed a feral cat she calls Wild Oats for several years, but now she's thinking of changing the feline's name to Survivor.
That's because she says the cat survived for 19 days with a peanut butter jar stuck on its head.
"We tried to get her, but being the type of cat you can't catch, she kept running and hiding," said Doretha Cain, Tabitha's mother.
The family saw the cat several times with the jar on its head and tried in vain to catch it. But after not seeing the cat for a week, the Cains feared the worst.
"I thought she was going to die with that jar on her head," said Tabitha Cain, 25.
They found the once chubby cat on Wednesday, too thin and weak to flee. They caught her with a fishing net and used some oil to get the jar off her head.
They gave her water and treated her wounds and on Friday she began to eat again.
"I've heard of cats having nine lives but I think this one has 19 because she survived 19 days," Doretha Cain said.
Memphis veterinarian Gerald Blackburn said he's heard similar stories of pets getting trapped for days or even weeks at a time and surviving.
Blackburn said the cat may have lived off of its excess fat.
Copyright 2007 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved

Entregandoles las noticias que tienen que saber,

Peridodista Sauve