The 324th annual Winter Series of Euchre With the Boys tournament was held this weekend in slippery Pepinoville. Pepina and I competed against each other, teamed with the Detroit Duo of Joe (my mate) and Pete (Pepina's partner), for two days of neck-to-neck Euchre competition. The 24 hour throw-down was only interrupted by a hockey game and a short nap. By the time the Motor City Mad Men left, the result was:
Joe and Pepino S. 10 games won
Pete and Pepina, 9 games won
A pity game was held just before the Mad Men's departure. The results of which are inconsequential.
The 325th Annual Summer Series of Euchre with the Boys will be held during a Pepinoville Pukes homestretch in July. Joe and I expect a repeat in the heat.
Good game.
Ganamos,
P. "Baraja" Suave
P.D. Those who have followed the august Euchre Series with the Boys might expect a bitter entry regarding this weekend's competition on beloved Pepina's blog soon. Give her time...
PD2 Reruns. Refer to the July 23, 2006 entry about Joe and Pete's last visit to Pepinoville for the 324th Summer Series of Euchre with the Boys. It was another hallmark weekend. It was the one that Talea faced her mascotophobia, and we all received free bread. Check it out.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Una Conversacion Estudiantil
Exhibit 1 of "The Attention Span of a First Grade Language Class":
Teacher asks class, in Spanish, "What day is it today?" (translated for the monolingual)
Girl walks up to teacher, "My dad's in the hospital."
Teacher, "Your dad's in the hospital? What happened?"
Girl replies, "His arm hurts so they're going to take out his tonsils and a piece of his tongue."
Teacher, in shocked tone, "Oh me, oh my!"
***Hours later***
Girl's dad, "Hi Profesor Suave. How's trix?"
Teacher, "Hi Girl's Dad. Say, hear tell your arm hurts, so they're trimming some meat off you?!"
Girl's Dad, "Some HMO, no?"
Me pagan por eso,
Prof. Suave
Friday, February 23, 2007
The Intrepid Fallen Heroes
No apologies for my absence this week, Pepino Pals. My legion of faithful readers should not be neglected of my pickled prose, but as Popeye would say, "I have me reasons". It's not just that I've been busier than an armless man in a slap-face competition. It's mainly because I havent' had the usual healthy, wholesome, warm and fuzzy thoughts to jot down for my readership to read and enjoy/cherish/pass on to co-workers. I'm mad. As mad as a dilled egg. Below I have excerpted a description of a cause that is beyond worthy. It is an obligation.
I have no problem with the Fund, of course. What does put vinegar in my jar is related reports of neglect and mismanagement at an older part of the Brooke Army Medical Center, where the new state-of-the-art facility is located. I've learned most about the story on MSNBC's Imus in the Morning Show, but have found little more about it on t.v., radio, or the internet. Time to write a letter to some elected politicos. Maybe bill Halliburton for repairs. Why isn't this a headline? Our maimed soldiers come home to mold in the rooms they rehabilitate in? Leaking ceilings? Crumbling walls?
Pardon the bile. Below is a blurb about the good, fuzzy side of the story:
The Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund has completed construction of a world-class state-of-the-art physical rehabilitation facility for wounded warrior at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio, Texas.
The Center will serve military personnel who have been catastrophically disabled in operations in Iraq and Afghanistan. The Center will also serve military personnel and veterans severely injured in other operations and in the normal performance of their duties, combat and non-combat related.
Although sufficient funding has been received for the construction costs, the Fund is accepting donations to provide additional services for our wounded military and veteran heroes and their families. These services may include facilities for patients' children, additional medical equipment and supplies, medical research to improve the care of patients, or other areas relating to the Center's activities including the patients and their families. One hundred percent of contributions to the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund will continue to go to these services, with nothing taken out for the Fund's administrative costs.
If you are considering a donation: www.fallenheroesfund.org or double click on The Intrepid Fallen Heroes title above this entry.
Malhumorado,
P. Suave
I have no problem with the Fund, of course. What does put vinegar in my jar is related reports of neglect and mismanagement at an older part of the Brooke Army Medical Center, where the new state-of-the-art facility is located. I've learned most about the story on MSNBC's Imus in the Morning Show, but have found little more about it on t.v., radio, or the internet. Time to write a letter to some elected politicos. Maybe bill Halliburton for repairs. Why isn't this a headline? Our maimed soldiers come home to mold in the rooms they rehabilitate in? Leaking ceilings? Crumbling walls?
Pardon the bile. Below is a blurb about the good, fuzzy side of the story:
The Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund has completed construction of a world-class state-of-the-art physical rehabilitation facility for wounded warrior at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio, Texas.
The Center will serve military personnel who have been catastrophically disabled in operations in Iraq and Afghanistan. The Center will also serve military personnel and veterans severely injured in other operations and in the normal performance of their duties, combat and non-combat related.
Although sufficient funding has been received for the construction costs, the Fund is accepting donations to provide additional services for our wounded military and veteran heroes and their families. These services may include facilities for patients' children, additional medical equipment and supplies, medical research to improve the care of patients, or other areas relating to the Center's activities including the patients and their families. One hundred percent of contributions to the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund will continue to go to these services, with nothing taken out for the Fund's administrative costs.
If you are considering a donation: www.fallenheroesfund.org or double click on The Intrepid Fallen Heroes title above this entry.
Malhumorado,
P. Suave
Saturday, February 17, 2007
El Sillon de Bompa
This is Bompa's chair. It resides in our house, La Casa Suave. I stole it. However, I refer to the chair as my "pre-inheritance". You see, the reclyner was offered to me by my mother, the author of my life, prior to their move South. According to Bompa, Mom neglected to confer with Pops. We have re-constructed the scenario and presume their conversation went as such: Mom said, "Tim's taking your seat", and Dad heard, "Tim is talking to Pete", or something like that. During the confusion, I snuck into town with my 260 pound friend, his wirey son, and a trailor. In a wink, and under the cover of night, we offed with the seat of snoozes before Dad was the wiser.
To this day, when visiting, Bompa often sits in the chair and sighs. They are the sighs of memories lost.
See ya' by the fire...
Super comodo,
Pepino Siesta
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Un Dia de Instruccion
One of my schools has a principal whose weekly routine includes writing a note to staff, and another to parents. Both notes include calendar items, birthdays, and the like. What I look forward to is his letter to staff and parents. He takes the time to write a note to each audience. I have enjoyed and been informed by his reflections and observations of his school. This week's note to staff I just had to share with you Pepino Heads. I think it would be appreciated by my pickled pals.
He begins by stating that we face a pretty busy week next week, and that he is providing some humor to get us "started with a smile on our face". Here is what followed:
Betty-Ann decided that instead of checking out books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names, telling them they were signing a "contract" for returning the books on time. Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see her.He was used to Mrs. G. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to Betty-Ann, giving her his name as he did so. Betty-Ann pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust. Before Betty-Ann could even begin her speech, the boy said, "Mrs. G can write."
Sondra was watching her classroom while the students were drawing. She noticed one little girl working especially intently so she walked over and asked the little girl what she was drawing. "I'm drawing God, " the girl replied. Sondra paused and said, "but no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "they will in a minute."
Mr. K was teaching a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face. So then, why is it that while I'm standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A student quickly shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty"
Me pagan por eso,
Profesor Sauve
He begins by stating that we face a pretty busy week next week, and that he is providing some humor to get us "started with a smile on our face". Here is what followed:
Betty-Ann decided that instead of checking out books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names, telling them they were signing a "contract" for returning the books on time. Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see her.He was used to Mrs. G. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to Betty-Ann, giving her his name as he did so. Betty-Ann pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust. Before Betty-Ann could even begin her speech, the boy said, "Mrs. G can write."
Sondra was watching her classroom while the students were drawing. She noticed one little girl working especially intently so she walked over and asked the little girl what she was drawing. "I'm drawing God, " the girl replied. Sondra paused and said, "but no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "they will in a minute."
Mr. K was teaching a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face. So then, why is it that while I'm standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A student quickly shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty"
Me pagan por eso,
Profesor Sauve
Friday, February 09, 2007
Grannyism
Tickled to Death
This phrase didn't sound so macabre when Granny used it. "Tickled to death" replace "thrilled" or "ecstatic" in Granny's lexicon. Some examples:
"Ron primed the pump. I'll be thrilled to death to take a shower again."
"I'd be thrilled to death if the ol' fart calls B-12, and I win the pot."
"Pay the Man, again? I'll bet you're thrilled to death to beat your old Granny out of all her nickles."
Encantado,
Pepino Nieto
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Todavia
Cold continues. There's a coating of ice on the kitchen window sill. Streets and driveways are flanked by piles of last week's snow. The furnace runs like an Arab's dream. It's February in Cuke County.
While folks in warmer climates smirk and turn there faces to the sun, just remember Southern Man, the chill keeps our cockroaches small. Your insects could be mounted and road. You could ride a Florida roach in order to lasoo a Florida fire ant, they're so big.
We don't want them around, anyhow.
Enjoy your warmth, Southern Man.
Del Norte,
Pepino Nordico
While folks in warmer climates smirk and turn there faces to the sun, just remember Southern Man, the chill keeps our cockroaches small. Your insects could be mounted and road. You could ride a Florida roach in order to lasoo a Florida fire ant, they're so big.
We don't want them around, anyhow.
Enjoy your warmth, Southern Man.
Del Norte,
Pepino Nordico
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Demasiado Frio
No Snow Day, today, schoolmates. It's a Cold Day. That's right; school is out for the cold, and the hard pack snow on Cuke County roads. The last substantial snow was Saturday. Since then we've had single digit temperatures that won't let salt or radiant sun do the job on the snow. Yesterday Opa Suave and I took to the streets and highways inspite of the conditions. The weather heads were right on the money; there wasn't a single stretch of road in decent condition. Hence, this is the second day of school closings.
Sunday, the list of church closings was longer than the "bar" listings in the Hamtramck yellow pages.
What with all the school and church closings, it is still amazing to see parking lots full at "non-essential" stores like the appliance stores and such. Gotta have a certain attitude to ignore warnings and take your ton or so of sheet metal out onto the ice at great speeds in order to shop. Just me.
The paperboy has delivered his bundle of propaganda throughout this blizzard like a mailman. Sunday, I was so inspired by his timely delivery during a painfully cold dawn, that I called his home and told his momma. Here's to the paperboy delivery guy fellah. They don't raise 'em like that anymore.
My brother's and I were paperboys. We speak a certain language. We get it. I'm am sure Casi Italiano and Periodista are both staring at their monitors right now, nodding in silent understanding. Hey guys, remember the costumer that never tipped but would call home and tell Mom what great paperboys we were? "May Sunday's paper land on his roof" we'd say. "Compliments don't pay for braces" Pops Suave would mutter. "Tighter then a Dutchman" Granny would add, never suspecting that one of hers might one day betroth someone of the, shall we say, Dutch persuasion.
Ah, the days of hand-held news. We delivered in all elements, to folks of all races, creeds, and gum diseases. Look at us now.
Here is to all you hardy folk out there, like our newspaperboy guy, that serve us regardless the weather or thriftiness of those you serve.
Con mucho respeto,
P. Suave
Sunday, the list of church closings was longer than the "bar" listings in the Hamtramck yellow pages.
What with all the school and church closings, it is still amazing to see parking lots full at "non-essential" stores like the appliance stores and such. Gotta have a certain attitude to ignore warnings and take your ton or so of sheet metal out onto the ice at great speeds in order to shop. Just me.
The paperboy has delivered his bundle of propaganda throughout this blizzard like a mailman. Sunday, I was so inspired by his timely delivery during a painfully cold dawn, that I called his home and told his momma. Here's to the paperboy delivery guy fellah. They don't raise 'em like that anymore.
My brother's and I were paperboys. We speak a certain language. We get it. I'm am sure Casi Italiano and Periodista are both staring at their monitors right now, nodding in silent understanding. Hey guys, remember the costumer that never tipped but would call home and tell Mom what great paperboys we were? "May Sunday's paper land on his roof" we'd say. "Compliments don't pay for braces" Pops Suave would mutter. "Tighter then a Dutchman" Granny would add, never suspecting that one of hers might one day betroth someone of the, shall we say, Dutch persuasion.
Ah, the days of hand-held news. We delivered in all elements, to folks of all races, creeds, and gum diseases. Look at us now.
Here is to all you hardy folk out there, like our newspaperboy guy, that serve us regardless the weather or thriftiness of those you serve.
Con mucho respeto,
P. Suave
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Blizzard '07
Saints alive! It's snowing like it's paid to, and all that. Aunt Nina's furnace was snuffed out by 10:00 a.m., at the beginning of a day-long white out. It is 4 degrees in Cuke County, which should be the high for the rest of the weekend.
We left the Casa Suave once, in order to take Opa to the Red Hot Pickle for a burger and fries. That was mid-day, and the one mile round-trip was a white nuckler. Even A-Pain Avenue had ruts.
Cogiendole suave,
Peppy
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Un Cuento
The entire Cuke County Community (called "Triple C", or "C Cubed", depending on what side of the county you reside) awaits the arrival of Pepinoville royalty, the Pepino Chicks. Bob the Gorila's Yippee Skippe Warehouse of Whatever has informed us that the P. Chicks have landed at the county airport, and are on their way home in the Pepino Express ll.
As we wait, we share with you the story that Blessed Breading's sixth graders crafted in Spanish class today:
Hay tres animales, un elefante, un gorilla, y un penguino. El Elefante come penguino nuggets. El gorilla come helado chocolate. El penguino come un waffle. Tres caballos caminan por el pueblo. Se sientan en una piedra grande. Los caballos cantan, "You Are My Sunshine". El elefante, el gorila, y el penguino gritan, "!Yikes, los caballos cantan!", y corren por Snap Finger Heights, Idaho.
[Translation: There are three animals, an elefant, a gorila, and a penguin. The elefant eats penguin nuggets. The gorila eats chocolate icecream. The penguin eats a waffle. Three horses walk toward town. They sit on a big rock. The horses sing, "You Are My Sunshine". The elefant, the gorila, and the penguin shout, "Yikes, the horses sing!", and run to Snap Finger Heights, Idaho.]
We hope you enjoyed the tale.
Un lector,
Profesor Suave
As we wait, we share with you the story that Blessed Breading's sixth graders crafted in Spanish class today:
Hay tres animales, un elefante, un gorilla, y un penguino. El Elefante come penguino nuggets. El gorilla come helado chocolate. El penguino come un waffle. Tres caballos caminan por el pueblo. Se sientan en una piedra grande. Los caballos cantan, "You Are My Sunshine". El elefante, el gorila, y el penguino gritan, "!Yikes, los caballos cantan!", y corren por Snap Finger Heights, Idaho.
[Translation: There are three animals, an elefant, a gorila, and a penguin. The elefant eats penguin nuggets. The gorila eats chocolate icecream. The penguin eats a waffle. Three horses walk toward town. They sit on a big rock. The horses sing, "You Are My Sunshine". The elefant, the gorila, and the penguin shout, "Yikes, the horses sing!", and run to Snap Finger Heights, Idaho.]
We hope you enjoyed the tale.
Un lector,
Profesor Suave
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Blog Log ll
Wow. This Blog Log thing is really taking off. The Bob the Gorilla Warehouse of Yippee-Skippee Yadda-Yadda is being inundated with calls, faxes, and smoke signals for more of Pepino Solo's daily goings-on. No football on the tube today, one guesses. Here goes:
1. See yesterday ('cept a pinch of churchen added. Sunday School rocked. We made surprised faces and said, in wonder and in unison, "ooooooohhhh!", to demonstrate an epiphany).
2. Rinse and repeat.
3. Then the neighbors Peloteros, sent over some hot soup. Two kinds, potato and cheese, were hand delivered by the young Peloteros, Atleta, and Chica Americana. Fantastic timing, as the author of these words was just about to pour milk on a bowl of GrapeNuts. I no sooner thanked the young'uns than I opened up the whipped cream container of Potato soup and went to town. Man, it was good. I was so enthused, I moved to eat the soup in front of the bay window, in case the neighbors wanted to see for themselves how much I was enjoying the soup. Weird but sincere. Delicioso. Many thanks, Peloteros. You got my back. I got yours (better keep a hand on your wallet Mr. Pelotero Pepino pickpocket.).
4. Watched Joe Crocker sing, "Get By (with a little help from my friends)" on YouTube. Ever wonder how fickle fame is? Simon would of booted the fellow Englishman in the first round and made fun of his looks, no cabe duda.
Florida update: Li'l Pepina called to report that she held a 3 foot crocodile in her lap this afternoon. Thanks for watching my kid, Pops. I always felt safe while you raised me. Come to think of it, I rode on the handlebars of speeding Harleys, played in streets and alleys, rode a bike without a helmet, rode in the backseat-facing backwards sans seatbelt of a station wagon throughout childhood, shared an orange bedroom with two brothers and lots of sharp corners, inhaled smoke second-hand, stepped on a crack, so on and so forth. Makes a crocodile in the lap of a child seem so innocent..
Pepina seems to be enjoying herself, as well. Check out her blog. She hasn't written anything in days. Girl's got a life...She is watching the Grease audition show tonight. Wish I could watch her face. I might take a picture of her Grease Face one day for this esteemed blog. Nothing like her Grease Face. Watching her watch a t.v. show is worth a million clams. She views t.v. with passion.
Vuelo solo,
Peps
1. See yesterday ('cept a pinch of churchen added. Sunday School rocked. We made surprised faces and said, in wonder and in unison, "ooooooohhhh!", to demonstrate an epiphany).
2. Rinse and repeat.
3. Then the neighbors Peloteros, sent over some hot soup. Two kinds, potato and cheese, were hand delivered by the young Peloteros, Atleta, and Chica Americana. Fantastic timing, as the author of these words was just about to pour milk on a bowl of GrapeNuts. I no sooner thanked the young'uns than I opened up the whipped cream container of Potato soup and went to town. Man, it was good. I was so enthused, I moved to eat the soup in front of the bay window, in case the neighbors wanted to see for themselves how much I was enjoying the soup. Weird but sincere. Delicioso. Many thanks, Peloteros. You got my back. I got yours (better keep a hand on your wallet Mr. Pelotero Pepino pickpocket.).
4. Watched Joe Crocker sing, "Get By (with a little help from my friends)" on YouTube. Ever wonder how fickle fame is? Simon would of booted the fellow Englishman in the first round and made fun of his looks, no cabe duda.
Florida update: Li'l Pepina called to report that she held a 3 foot crocodile in her lap this afternoon. Thanks for watching my kid, Pops. I always felt safe while you raised me. Come to think of it, I rode on the handlebars of speeding Harleys, played in streets and alleys, rode a bike without a helmet, rode in the backseat-facing backwards sans seatbelt of a station wagon throughout childhood, shared an orange bedroom with two brothers and lots of sharp corners, inhaled smoke second-hand, stepped on a crack, so on and so forth. Makes a crocodile in the lap of a child seem so innocent..
Pepina seems to be enjoying herself, as well. Check out her blog. She hasn't written anything in days. Girl's got a life...She is watching the Grease audition show tonight. Wish I could watch her face. I might take a picture of her Grease Face one day for this esteemed blog. Nothing like her Grease Face. Watching her watch a t.v. show is worth a million clams. She views t.v. with passion.
Vuelo solo,
Peps
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Blog Log (Debut)
As promised, Pepino Public, the worlds first pickled Blog Log:
1. Awoke
2. Checked for paper.
3. Went to the lavatory.
4. Checked for paper.
5. Fed cat and "dug for chunks" in cat's litter.
6. Heard a noise outside. Checked for paper.
7. Turned on computer, checked for paper as it booted.
8. Retrieved paper and saluted paperboy as he trudged up the street.
9. Read said paper as I ate Golden Grams knock-off. Aldi's brand, I think.
10. Put on paint clothes (my play clothes inside-out).
11. Painted
12. Painted some more.
13. Missed a spot.
14. Cleaned up
15. Off to YMCA. Watched VH1 show about entertainers as young as my students as I jogged on a treadmill. Didn't get anywhere.
16. Showered.
17. Entered Meijer Thrifty Acres to by stuff for the week.
18. Went to Menard's to buy more paint stuff.
19. Returned home
20. Ate GrapeNuts while watching YouTube. I focused on George Carlin religious bits tonight. My favorite is his compacting of the Ten Commandments into Two Easy To Remember Commandments ("Moses could of carried 'em down the mountain in his pocket, for Christ's sake!").
21. Wrote this/am writing this Blog Log about the day in the life of a Pepino whose family is sunning in Florida.
To our Florida readers: if you see Pepina or Li'l Pepinita, give them my best. So does La Gatita (we strive to protect our pet's anonymity), the fiercest feline in all of Cuke County. That cat has been running around this place like she's smoking the cat nip. She ran down the hallway as fast as she could, jumped onto the rug, and slid into the door. I woulda' paid to see that again. She won't repeat the feat.
El gallo pinto no pinta; el que pinta es el pintor,
Pepino Solito
1. Awoke
2. Checked for paper.
3. Went to the lavatory.
4. Checked for paper.
5. Fed cat and "dug for chunks" in cat's litter.
6. Heard a noise outside. Checked for paper.
7. Turned on computer, checked for paper as it booted.
8. Retrieved paper and saluted paperboy as he trudged up the street.
9. Read said paper as I ate Golden Grams knock-off. Aldi's brand, I think.
10. Put on paint clothes (my play clothes inside-out).
11. Painted
12. Painted some more.
13. Missed a spot.
14. Cleaned up
15. Off to YMCA. Watched VH1 show about entertainers as young as my students as I jogged on a treadmill. Didn't get anywhere.
16. Showered.
17. Entered Meijer Thrifty Acres to by stuff for the week.
18. Went to Menard's to buy more paint stuff.
19. Returned home
20. Ate GrapeNuts while watching YouTube. I focused on George Carlin religious bits tonight. My favorite is his compacting of the Ten Commandments into Two Easy To Remember Commandments ("Moses could of carried 'em down the mountain in his pocket, for Christ's sake!").
21. Wrote this/am writing this Blog Log about the day in the life of a Pepino whose family is sunning in Florida.
To our Florida readers: if you see Pepina or Li'l Pepinita, give them my best. So does La Gatita (we strive to protect our pet's anonymity), the fiercest feline in all of Cuke County. That cat has been running around this place like she's smoking the cat nip. She ran down the hallway as fast as she could, jumped onto the rug, and slid into the door. I woulda' paid to see that again. She won't repeat the feat.
El gallo pinto no pinta; el que pinta es el pintor,
Pepino Solito
Friday, January 26, 2007
En Rumbo
The Pepina Chicks are en route to warmth. They've taken the last airplane out of chilly Cuke County for sunny Florida, winter home of Bompa and Grandma Sauve. Pepinita is so thrilled, she isn't concerned about rain in the tropics. There's always the Shell Factory, she claims.
I picked her up early from school. She stuffed a note in my pocket. I read it after she left. It reads:
Dear Dadyo,
I reaeaeaeally [sic] miss you. I wish I could sqert [sic] yuo with a bumper bowet [sic] sqert [sic] gun in a bumper bowt [sic, again]! I hop [sic, last but not least] you have a good time without me.
Love,
Talea
P.S. Please write back!xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo(the "xo" pattern continues throughtout an entire page 2)
As I write these words, the Chicks Pepino fly over miles of U.S.A on their way to Papa/Mama Suave's sprawling winter play land complex, replete with horseshoes, shuffles and accompanying boards, pools, miles of paved golf cart highways, and weather to write home about.
Something of note: Their arrival will immediately lower the average age of Florida folks from 78 years, 5 months, to 78 years, 4 months, and two weeks. Pass that on. No charge. Keep your wallet in your pocket.
What does a humble Pickle do while the lasses are gone? Well, I just finished watching 45 minutes of Stevie Ray Vaughn clips on YouTube, after scrapping ice off the drive, eating a salad while reading the Pepino Press, and am now planning on watching the Comedy Channel until I get the urge to stare at my eyelids. Maybe I'll do a weekend log on the blog. A log of the single pickle. Pepino Solo.
Stay tuned.
Ando solo,
Peppy
I picked her up early from school. She stuffed a note in my pocket. I read it after she left. It reads:
Dear Dadyo,
I reaeaeaeally [sic] miss you. I wish I could sqert [sic] yuo with a bumper bowet [sic] sqert [sic] gun in a bumper bowt [sic, again]! I hop [sic, last but not least] you have a good time without me.
Love,
Talea
P.S. Please write back!xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo(the "xo" pattern continues throughtout an entire page 2)
As I write these words, the Chicks Pepino fly over miles of U.S.A on their way to Papa/Mama Suave's sprawling winter play land complex, replete with horseshoes, shuffles and accompanying boards, pools, miles of paved golf cart highways, and weather to write home about.
Something of note: Their arrival will immediately lower the average age of Florida folks from 78 years, 5 months, to 78 years, 4 months, and two weeks. Pass that on. No charge. Keep your wallet in your pocket.
What does a humble Pickle do while the lasses are gone? Well, I just finished watching 45 minutes of Stevie Ray Vaughn clips on YouTube, after scrapping ice off the drive, eating a salad while reading the Pepino Press, and am now planning on watching the Comedy Channel until I get the urge to stare at my eyelids. Maybe I'll do a weekend log on the blog. A log of the single pickle. Pepino Solo.
Stay tuned.
Ando solo,
Peppy
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Grannyism: "The Dickens"
La Monja gifted us this picture. It could be a picture of Pepinoville today.It is snowing like the dickens here in bucolic Pepinoville. Chicago beat the dickens out of New Orleans tonight (New Orleans previously had the dickens beat out of them by Hurricane Katrina).
The dickens Granny used when she couldn't easily come up with a standard unit, but she was emphatic that it would be a big unit, indeed. Examples:
"I beat the dickens out of that rug, and it's still full of dust."
"It's (raining/snowing/sleeting/other act of God) like the dickens."
Feel free to use this Grannyism, or any other, as Granny neglected to copyright her modismos. They are public domain. Use 'em like the dickens.
En mi humilde memoria,
Pepino Nieto
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Hace Frio
This week, the good people of Pepinoville are distracted from their constant concern about global warming. It has been colder than the dickens (Grannyism. Look for it in a near future entry) in and around Cuke County.
Cold weather brings an interesting phenomena to the hallways of the schools. I like to call it the Snow Pants Shuffle. It is the sound of nylon against nylon as kids swish through school, leg rubbing against leg, creating static electrical charges that could fuel the school, if harnessed. The climax of the SP Shuffle is the contorted gymnastics most kids endure in getting out of or into their snow pants. Nothing like standing at my doorway watching kids struggling with their winter wraps as they gossip with each other. A millions times more entertaining than America's Funniest Videos, a Suave Family tradition.
Me pagan por eso,
Profesor Suave
Cold weather brings an interesting phenomena to the hallways of the schools. I like to call it the Snow Pants Shuffle. It is the sound of nylon against nylon as kids swish through school, leg rubbing against leg, creating static electrical charges that could fuel the school, if harnessed. The climax of the SP Shuffle is the contorted gymnastics most kids endure in getting out of or into their snow pants. Nothing like standing at my doorway watching kids struggling with their winter wraps as they gossip with each other. A millions times more entertaining than America's Funniest Videos, a Suave Family tradition.
Me pagan por eso,
Profesor Suave
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Cuatro Rincones
I have avoided Four Squares like a plague. Four Squares, I always believed, was in the Hang Man league of games-that-are-fun-but-don't -teach-anything. Educational cotton candy. Time fillers. Empty calories. Down time. Yada. Yada.
Anyway, my dear charges at Bob the Gorila's Home for Wayward Skateboarders were treated to a different Spanish teacher last year while I was away reforming the Mexican educational system. Seems the beloved Sra. Alfonsina indulged the students in the black-listed Four Square competition on many occasions. My kids insisted it was fun, safe, low in calories, and why not play it. This plea was heard by my elfantin years 465,987.098 times over the last semester, more or less. I finally relented. The flesh is weak.
I tweaked the rules to the game by re-naming the corners (rincones, accent over the "o" can be applied by magic marker, as I can't do it with this key board and my limited tech skills) with Spanish vocabulary that we are going to need for the next class story. I pull a stick from the stick jar, and the kid whose stick it is (why, the sticks are numbered!), goes out into the hall way. We run for a corner, all of us, while chanting, "!Vaya,vaya, vaya!" ("Go, go, go"). When we are all in a corner of our choice, pushing and shoving like businessmen on a crowded elevator, we shout, in unison (sounds like the way the Ed McMan always shouted, "Heeeeeeeeere's Johny!),
"?Queeeeeeeeeeeee rincon?" ("Whaaaaaaat corner?"). Our friend in the hallway, without looking in on us, shouts the name of one of the corners. If he/she/it calls your corner, ya'll gots to sit down. !Rayos! (either, shoot, darn, snap, drats, or oh man. You pick).
By the time the game was over, the students had shouted/listened to the new vocabulary a few dozen times, atleast. They didn't even feel like they were learning.
Well, good citizens of Pepinoville, there's your tax money at work. Stay tuned for a review of our latest class story, a culmanation of four mini-stories, in Spanish, of love and loss.
Progreso para el futuro,
Profesor Suave
Anyway, my dear charges at Bob the Gorila's Home for Wayward Skateboarders were treated to a different Spanish teacher last year while I was away reforming the Mexican educational system. Seems the beloved Sra. Alfonsina indulged the students in the black-listed Four Square competition on many occasions. My kids insisted it was fun, safe, low in calories, and why not play it. This plea was heard by my elfantin years 465,987.098 times over the last semester, more or less. I finally relented. The flesh is weak.
I tweaked the rules to the game by re-naming the corners (rincones, accent over the "o" can be applied by magic marker, as I can't do it with this key board and my limited tech skills) with Spanish vocabulary that we are going to need for the next class story. I pull a stick from the stick jar, and the kid whose stick it is (why, the sticks are numbered!), goes out into the hall way. We run for a corner, all of us, while chanting, "!Vaya,vaya, vaya!" ("Go, go, go"). When we are all in a corner of our choice, pushing and shoving like businessmen on a crowded elevator, we shout, in unison (sounds like the way the Ed McMan always shouted, "Heeeeeeeeere's Johny!),
"?Queeeeeeeeeeeee rincon?" ("Whaaaaaaat corner?"). Our friend in the hallway, without looking in on us, shouts the name of one of the corners. If he/she/it calls your corner, ya'll gots to sit down. !Rayos! (either, shoot, darn, snap, drats, or oh man. You pick).
By the time the game was over, the students had shouted/listened to the new vocabulary a few dozen times, atleast. They didn't even feel like they were learning.
Well, good citizens of Pepinoville, there's your tax money at work. Stay tuned for a review of our latest class story, a culmanation of four mini-stories, in Spanish, of love and loss.
Progreso para el futuro,
Profesor Suave
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Galletas
On behalf of Li'l Pepinita and the Girl Scouts of America, buy some cookies. I highly recommend the short bread if there's milk in the house. If not, thin mints are a good option. Post your cookie requests on "comment" below. Our li'l Girl Scout will be in touch...
Te doy una galleta,
Papa Suave
Te doy una galleta,
Papa Suave
Friday, January 05, 2007
Pepinita's News
The hottest new blog in the blogosphere is right at your fingertips. Li'l Pepinita has launched her own electronic journal : Pepinita's News. This log of things Pepinita is located at:
www.pepinita.blogspot.com, or double click on Pepinita's News under "Pepino Picks" on the side bar at right.
Un padre orgulloso,
Papi Pepino
www.pepinita.blogspot.com, or double click on Pepinita's News under "Pepino Picks" on the side bar at right.
Un padre orgulloso,
Papi Pepino
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Presidential Fly Over
Twenty-one F10 Fighters flew over town, concluding President Gerald Ford's burial ceremony. The squadron flew up-river, just above the lingering smoke of the armed salute. As the 21st plane broke off and soared straight into the clear, golden dusk, the crowd standing with us on the Leonard Street bridge watched in hushed reverence (except the young lady in the Honda honking at the stopped traffic. Late for a hair appointment, apparently. We all hope she got there in time. Sorry for the inconvenience.). Thanks to our friend, La Contable, for the picture.
Un humilde ciudadano,
Pepino Suave
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
La Patriota Tia Nina
The following was received early this morning by the Bob the Gorila Editorial Board. It is an unedited message from our incredible Great Aunt Nina, Granny's Mom's cousin-in-law. Aunt Nina is the fastest 88 year-old on the face of the earth. Among her many achievements is her service as a W.A.C., with her sister, during World War II. She is also a long-time supporter/former leader of the Girls Scouts. To list the rest of her activities, honors, awards, and good deeds would take several entries, so stay tuned for more about our heroe, Aunt Nina.
Here is what she had to say about her first hand experience of the arrival of the former President Gerald Ford's casket and entourage to Grand Rapids last night; typed all in capital letters as all of Aunt Nina's correspondence is sent:
I WATCHED THE FORD FAMILY BOARD THE PLANE IN D.C ,, THEN HEADEDDOWNTOWN GRAND RAPIDS... PARKED IN THE WESTMINISTER CHURCH PARKING LOTAND WENT IN AND ASKED TO PARK THERE FOR THE DAY... WALKED MONROE MALL TO THE MUSEUM.. THEY HAD TOLD US THAT THE VETERANSWOULD LINE PEARL STREET... WHEN I GO THERE .. THERE WASN'T A VET INSIGHT.... SO I JUST WALKED ACROSS THE STREET AND STOOD IN DAYS INN YARD..SURROUNDED BY LOTS OF PEOPLE BEHIND A FENCE.... THEN THE BOY SCOUTSMOVED IN.. THINK EVERY SCOUT IN MICHIGAN WAS THERE.... WE WAITED ANDWAITED... WIND WAS BLOWING BUT THE CROWD STOOD CLOSE AND SO I WAS NEVERCOLD....SOME ONE THAT LIVED NEAR THE MUSEUM SAID THAT JUST BEFORE SHELEFT HOME.. THAT THE PLANE WAS 45 MINUTES LATE LEAVING D.C... SOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT WAS AFTER FIVE WHEN THEY ARRIVED.... ABOUT 6... WESTARTED TO MOVE IN FOR THE VIEWING... AGAIN,, THEY TOLD US THE VETS HADBEEN ON THE MICHIGAN ST BRIDGE AND WOULD GO AHEAD OF THE SCOUTS,,,, ANDTHEY DID.... SO I WAS STANDING AT THE EDGE OF THE STREET AND APOLICE OFFICER SAW ME... HAD ON MY LEGION HAT ,WHICH HAS MY WAAC EMBLEMON IT... HE SAID WAIT A MINUTED ,, YOU COME RIGHT IN HERE BETWEEN THESETWO SCOUTS... NOW GUYS TAKE CARD OF HER.... SO FOR AN HOUR OR MOVE WECREPT ALONG TOWARD THE DOOR.... A LOT OF THE SCOUTS DIDN'T HAVE ONJACKETS... SOME WERE VERY COLD BEFORE WE GOT INSIDE... IT WAS VERY QUIETONCE INSIDE... WHILE I WAS WAITING A YOUNG MAN ASKED WHAT THE EMBLEMON MY HAT WAS AND WHY I HAD ON A LEGION HAT... WE EXCHANGED A FEW WORDSAND HE LEFT... IN A FEW MINUTES HEW AS BACK WITH A REPORTER ANDPHOTOGRAPHER.. I HAD SEEN HER ON THE NOON NEWS... WE CHATTED AND SHE SAID IT WOULD BE ON THE EVENING NEWS... NOT SURE IT WAS ,, I WASN'THOME YET... SO THAT WAS MY DAY AND I MET LOTS NICE PEOPLE AND WE ALL AGREEGERRY FORD WAS A NICE MAN...... LOVE TO ALL MOM, NINA ,, AUNT NINA ,,WHATEVER FITS.
Es nuestra tia,
Pepino Orgulloso
Here is what she had to say about her first hand experience of the arrival of the former President Gerald Ford's casket and entourage to Grand Rapids last night; typed all in capital letters as all of Aunt Nina's correspondence is sent:
I WATCHED THE FORD FAMILY BOARD THE PLANE IN D.C ,, THEN HEADEDDOWNTOWN GRAND RAPIDS... PARKED IN THE WESTMINISTER CHURCH PARKING LOTAND WENT IN AND ASKED TO PARK THERE FOR THE DAY... WALKED MONROE MALL TO THE MUSEUM.. THEY HAD TOLD US THAT THE VETERANSWOULD LINE PEARL STREET... WHEN I GO THERE .. THERE WASN'T A VET INSIGHT.... SO I JUST WALKED ACROSS THE STREET AND STOOD IN DAYS INN YARD..SURROUNDED BY LOTS OF PEOPLE BEHIND A FENCE.... THEN THE BOY SCOUTSMOVED IN.. THINK EVERY SCOUT IN MICHIGAN WAS THERE.... WE WAITED ANDWAITED... WIND WAS BLOWING BUT THE CROWD STOOD CLOSE AND SO I WAS NEVERCOLD....SOME ONE THAT LIVED NEAR THE MUSEUM SAID THAT JUST BEFORE SHELEFT HOME.. THAT THE PLANE WAS 45 MINUTES LATE LEAVING D.C... SOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT WAS AFTER FIVE WHEN THEY ARRIVED.... ABOUT 6... WESTARTED TO MOVE IN FOR THE VIEWING... AGAIN,, THEY TOLD US THE VETS HADBEEN ON THE MICHIGAN ST BRIDGE AND WOULD GO AHEAD OF THE SCOUTS,,,, ANDTHEY DID.... SO I WAS STANDING AT THE EDGE OF THE STREET AND APOLICE OFFICER SAW ME... HAD ON MY LEGION HAT ,WHICH HAS MY WAAC EMBLEMON IT... HE SAID WAIT A MINUTED ,, YOU COME RIGHT IN HERE BETWEEN THESETWO SCOUTS... NOW GUYS TAKE CARD OF HER.... SO FOR AN HOUR OR MOVE WECREPT ALONG TOWARD THE DOOR.... A LOT OF THE SCOUTS DIDN'T HAVE ONJACKETS... SOME WERE VERY COLD BEFORE WE GOT INSIDE... IT WAS VERY QUIETONCE INSIDE... WHILE I WAS WAITING A YOUNG MAN ASKED WHAT THE EMBLEMON MY HAT WAS AND WHY I HAD ON A LEGION HAT... WE EXCHANGED A FEW WORDSAND HE LEFT... IN A FEW MINUTES HEW AS BACK WITH A REPORTER ANDPHOTOGRAPHER.. I HAD SEEN HER ON THE NOON NEWS... WE CHATTED AND SHE SAID IT WOULD BE ON THE EVENING NEWS... NOT SURE IT WAS ,, I WASN'THOME YET... SO THAT WAS MY DAY AND I MET LOTS NICE PEOPLE AND WE ALL AGREEGERRY FORD WAS A NICE MAN...... LOVE TO ALL MOM, NINA ,, AUNT NINA ,,WHATEVER FITS.
Es nuestra tia,
Pepino Orgulloso
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