Escenario 9

Scene 9
By Mike (tinkered with by P. Suave)
Durango, Durango, Mexico

The scene opens in the same dusty, old saloon. The same old cowboys sit in the same old chairs.

Once again a tall, dark figure appears at the door. The room is silent as the stranger enters the bar. The doors swing into the room and he takes a step inside. Suddenly he lurches forward and crashes to the floor. The crowd gasps as the handsome cowboy scrambles to his feet.

 

El Pelo: I'm O.K.!

 

A breeze blows through the saloon  as the cowboys shift in their seats. The stranger removes his 10-gallon hat and runs his thick fingers through a beautiful head of hair. He's wearing a white dress shirt and tight parachute pants. Think Fabio with man-boobs.

 

El Pelo: I am El Pelo and I'm here to avenge my sisters death. Actually her death, resurrection and death a second time. Where can I find the man with the deadly chalupas?

 

Cowboys: Tee hee

 

El Pelo: Don't toy with me. I must find him. My sister ate his chalupa and now she's dead. I understand he has a chalupa for my brother, Pepino Suave, also.

 

Cowboys: Tee hee

 

Off camera: Tio Miguel! Tio Miguel!

 

Three teens come running  from the bathroom

 

Three teens:. We're so glad you're here!. 

 

All three are runining with scissors, a Fournier family taboo. Alas, in the excitement at seeing their beloved uncle, they race to hug the hairball, accidently plunging their child-safe scissors into El Pelo´s ample man-boobs. Blood runs down his parachute pants as he turns to look in a mirror and takes his last breath. Tio Miguel falls to the floor like an over-filled, Lake Erie-grade sand bag. Camera cuts to three horrified teens with bloody child-safe scissors clutched in their hands. 

 

Cue: Nutty horror show violin music.

Cut to commercial: BreastBeGone: Male breast augmentation.