Amor Asqueroso/ Escenario 7

ESCENARIO 7

"La Cascara del Platano"

Escrito por Tigre

DURANGO DURANGO, Mexico

FADE: Camera zooms in on a town square completely empty save for three people. One is an extremely muscular and well-known masked wrestler named, “Tigre.” The other man, less muscular, wears a cowboy hat and camo pants. Lastly, a normal young woman with an I-phone. 

Tigre is standing all-cool like while his manager, the young woman named Talea, is looking at her I-phone while the less-muscular man, Tigre’s towel boy, is walking around like he has a wedgie. 

TIGRE: Speaking in a fake Spanish accent.

Where eez he? Where eez the man I’m searching for? Where eez Raul?

NICKY: The wedgied one speaking Canadian

I searched all over town but I found nothing, eh?

TIGRE

Then I have lost the trail! 

TALEA: No accent, and reading from her I-phone

Actually, he’s in Czech Republic.

TIGRE

I can’t believe those idiots are posting their whereabouts on that silly blog! So easy to track them!!!

CAMERA zooms out to show the three cousins surrounded by banditos. And one Ninja. 

TIGRE

Looks like we’re going to have to fight our way out of this.

CAMERA shows Tigre giving the Ninja a roundhouse kick and proceeding to beat up many other banditos. Meanwhile, Nicky and Talea quickly bolt out of the way and Nicky, being wedgied klutz he is, slips on a banana peel and slides into an oddly placed plunger, triggering a strange and comedic chain reaction leading to a stockpile of dynamite to be activated. The dynamite proceeds to blow up the entire town square. Tigre walkes out of the smoke, victorious. He quickly puts his foot up on some debris and points eastward and announces ….

TIGRE

To the Czech Republic!!!

TALEA

I’ll order the plane tickets.

NICKY

I’ll get the luggage, eh?

Talea slaps Nicky so hard he falls over.

NICKY

Why’d you do that, eh?

TALEA

It’s a Telenovela. 

FADE OUT
CUT TO COMMERCIAL: Nueske's Applewood Smoked Canadian Bacon