Teaching With Tylenol

Yesterday Pepino Suave taught with a sinus head ache and a sore throat. I felt like 6 feet, 180 pounds of mucus. I feigned enthusiam giving my lessons, and my students pretended to care while receiving them.
Today I taught with the same symptoms, although well masked by a dose of Tylenol every four hours. There was no pretending. I whipped our rubber chicken around like it was essential to language acquisition. I wore a wig and walked like a duck. I sat on a fake sandwich. I claimed, in Spanish, that the principal dances with elephants. I was inspired. It appeared the kids learned, too (although we don't have emperical proof, as yet).

Agradezco la farmacia,

Pepino Sano

Cinco Palabras

Five words that, together, define gastromical excellence:
Midnight Milky Way Candy Bar

Que disfruten,
P. Delicioso Suave

Mouths of Babes

Today was one of those rainy-high-pressure-no-outside-recess kind of days at The Home For Wayward Angels, one of the schools where I teach. Kids, all classes, all grades, were unusually full of life. I saw behavior and heard comments that are more common in early September than late November.
At the very end of the day the rain came down like it was paid to, and all the jittery kids were waiting in the main hallway. One little girl, clad with a pancho and a hood, ran up to me and exclaimed, "Pepino Suave, look, I have a hood!"
I thanked her for making me aware of her head gear.

Con mucho paciencia,

Profe. Suave

El Arbolito

That tree has been cut, delivered, and trimmed. We deck the halls today, and we're ready for the season.
That's a slanted blue spruce you see there in the Casa Pepina. We selected and cut a blue spruce; it was the tatooed youngster manning the trunk drilling machine that put a little "wow" into our yuletide lumber. Nothing a shimmy or two can't fix.

Tienes una casa en Pepinoville,

P. "Ho-Ho" Suave

Dia de Accion de Gracias II

Hope your Thanksgiving was as great as ours.

Atentamente,

La Familia Suave

Dia de Accion de Gracias

Happy Thanksgiving to the thousands of Pepino Suave family, friends, oficionados, and creditors. Thanksgiving '06 finds me with my annual Thanksgiving cold and flu, thank you. I am 180-some pounds of cough, mucus and misery. Physically, anyway. Otherwise I am goofy with mirth and thanksgiving. Li'l Pepinita is over at Opa Suave's crib helping out with the bird. Dear Pepina is in our cocina doing the trimmings. In an hour, we'll drive over with a wagon full of goodies, and celebrate at Opa's.
I leave you with my incomplete list of Things Pepino Suave Has to be Thankful For (TPSHTF, and pardon the dangle Grammarians).

TPSHTF:

• The Two Beautiful Ladies I live with that show me how to love and to give.
• My wife who is a walking definition of unconditional love and goodness, and giving. Each day, Dear Pepina proves that the glass is half-full.
• My daughter who I love like nothing else in this world.
• A family, both in-law, out-law, and blood relation, that are there throughout thick and thin, puns good and bad, sadness, gladness, and casseroles.
• A job that I love and that is the envy of everyone on weekends, and holidays, and during summer months.
• Students, their parents and colleagues who inspire, challenge, and make me belly-laugh.
• A relative body temperature of 98 degrees Fahrenheit and a pulse.
• The daily newspaper, Pepinoville Press.
• Four seasons, especially spring and fall.
• Leaf blower/vacuums and mulching lawnmowers.
• Seconds, especially when the firsts include mashed spuds.
• Split wood piled high in the garage.
• Long underwear, and short winters.
• Raisin bread toast and pork rinds.
• Homemade wine.
• The movie, Its a Wonderful Life, viewed with my family.
• Wrestling Li'l Pepinita after school.
• Cereal for dinner.
• Great nieghbors.

That is just the first page of a volume of thanksgiving...

Super agradecido,

Pepino "Gobble" Suave

El Gato

Angel is our cat. Li'l Pepinita welcomed her into our, until then, petless abode on her birthday. Li'l Pepinita is very happy with Angel el Gatito.
Today we found a cat fece on the front room floor.
Can a cat fit in a slow cooker?

Gateo,
Pepino "Gato Sabroso" Suave

Honey Crisp

You have not had an apple until you've tried an Honey Crisp. It's candy disquised as fruit. Adam would get a little more empathy from us sinners had he been offered a Honey Crisp by naggy Eve.
I didn't understand all the talk about the biblical fruit until I finally ate one the other day. It's just like they say: sweet as honey, and crisp as, well, it's crispy.
What are you doing? Go get yourself a Michigan Grown Honey Crisp.

Me qusta la manzana,

Peppy

*This message brought to you by the Michigan Fruit Growers Association.

Aunt Nina

This Veterans Day weekend, I had the pleasure to visit our favorite army veteran, Aunt Nina. She had lots of pictures to share from her autumn cruise to Alaska. She's planning a road trip to Florida in a week.
While sipping free-trade coffee, the spry octogenarian reflected on life in North Carolina during the 30's. Her house didn't have a well, so she and her sisters had to "carry water". It wasn't until a well was dug that they didn't have to carry water, or carry it that far. In the winters, the well pump had to be primed with warm water before it could be used.
Andale, I have to go get my tea out of the microwave...

Siempre agradecido,

Pepino "Cargando Agua" Suave

Post-Election

I woke up to an unsolicited email from a be-suited banker, broke and over-weight, claiming he "told me so" (he has " told me so" about dieting and finance, too). Apparently the early results of yesterday's election made him feel rightously (sp?) vindicated. As well, he apparently felt the elections somehow castigated the likes of this humble pepino. He didn't vote. I did.
Regardless of what the be-suited banker may believe, I don't have a particularly strong political persuasion. However, I am happy for the very independent Mr. Joe Lieberman. His party, that of the "people", all tolerant and open minded, jumped off his band wagon faster n' a pickle on a wet dinner plate, and he still won an election; by a bunch, too.
Locally, we give our sentiments to the biggest loser, dollar for dollar, Mr. DeSoap. Although he invested more money into the gubenatorial campaign than the U.S. has spent in Iraq, his bubble burst big time. Mr. DeSoap, you still have your "soap". Or lots of people to sell your "soap". Or lots of people to recruit lots of people to sell your....
And finally, the electorate was convinced that school funding is bad for business. No well educated child is going to get in the way of making a buck in this state. Proposal 5 flunked.

Bien confundido,

P. Dedo Morado Suave

Election Day

I have received 2,345.09 unsolicited, pre-recorded political phone messages since the weekend began. What little t.v. I watch is jammed packed with political marketing.
My vote this mid-term election was carefully calculated by a long, dirty laundry list of data, hunch, and reflection. If I go thrue yet another day of tele-arrogance, and televised groveling, I will throw the list to the wind, and vote for the people and proposals that least invade my privacy.
So there.

Super molestado,

Pepino Representado

Bald Guyz

Pops Suave gave me the heads-up on a new product for the scalp-rich. Bald Guyz Head Wipes are the perfect remedy for the five o'clock shine. One of these wipes will knock the gleam off your dome. The secret is a quick drying swiss formula "specially formulated for The Bald Guy". Plus, it has a Green Tea extract that will leave your head with a "natural healthy look after each use." Buy a box now at your local pharmacy.

Coco pelado,

Pepino "Brillante" Suave