Monday, January 30, 2012

Amor Asqueroso

Escenario 2
(Written by:  Inky)
Outskirts of Town
Durango, Durango, Mexico

Fade In:   A dusty old saloon.  Focus in on the barkeep as she slowly wipes down the bar.  Clearly, her thoughts are elsewhere.  Only a few lonely cowboys are sitting in the saloon, tired from a hard day’s work on the rancho.  Four are seated at a table, three are at the bar.  
Small Breasted Raquelita
What will it be boys?  Another round?  asks the 40+ year-old tired barkeep in a monotone, uninspired voice
Random Cowboy at Bar
Si.
Ominous music begins to fade in.  Camera pans to bright blue saloon doors.  The image of black cowboy boots with spurs and faded jeans, can be seen below the doors.  A ten-gallon hat is in view above the doors.  An extra large, manly-man hand is placed on the left door.  Enter El Vaquero.  His left hand rests atop his holster.  In his right hand are two full, large, juicy, chalupas.
Small Breasted Raquelita
Her gasp is heard off camera.  Raul.
El Vaquero
Si. Responds the 40+ year old handsome Mexican cowboy with leathery skin.
Small Breasted Raquelita
You have returned.  Again, she shows no emotion.
El Vaquero
Si.
All in the bar remain silent and captivated.  Their eyes dance between Raquelita and El Vaquero.  El Vaquero takes two steps into the saloon.  The doors swing behind him.
El Vaquero
Raquelita, we need to speak.... in private.
Small Breasted Raquelita
This is private, Raul.  This is as private as I will get with you.  My trust for you exists no more.  She says showing some emotion in her voice for the first time and spitting on the dusty floor.
Enter a brown and white mutt of a dog with floppy brown ears.  The dog begins to yap, yap, yap at the Vaquero as he leaps in the air to munch on the chalupas.  El Vaquero’s chocolate eyes are reflected in the dog’s.  It is clear they are both angered.  Soon, the other cowboys in the bar stifle laughs as they observe the ring of urine the dog has left around El Vaquero.  Including a few drops directly on the rattle-snake skin boots.
El Vaquero
Raquelita, get this dog away before I shoot him.  he says as he shakes the urine from his boot in a very manly-man way.
Small Breasted Raquelita
Luna, vaya!  She shouts at the mutt as her azure eyes, revealing her European heritage, plead with the pup.  The dog slowly backs away looking suspiciously at El Vaquero.  The dog sits in the corner and whimpers.
El Vaquero
OK.  If that is how the game is now played.  I will speak to you in front of these strangers.  Raquelita, I am searching for a man I think you know.
Small Breasted Raquelita
Raul, you and I both know, I’ve known many men.  Her voice is now more angered.
El Vaquero
This is true.  But this man I speak of, I believe, is your brother... Pepino Suave.
Their eyes lock.  Organ music begins.
Small Breasted Raquelita
I have no brother.
El Vaquero
Raquelita, we both know you have many brothers.
Small Breasted Raquelita
This Pepino Suave you speak of, he is not my brother.
El Vaquero
I must find him.  I must kill him.  I must know.  Where is your brother, Pepino Suave, the bald Mariachi Gringo?  Tell me now, or you will die a public death by hanging.
Small Breasted Raquelita
I do not know this man!  She shrieks, now full of emotion as tears begin forming in her blue eyes.
Suddenly, the music crescendos as the camera closes in on Small Breasted Raquelita’s terrified eyes.  Hold for three seconds.  The music stops.  In the distance, a cock crows.  
All in the room gasp.
Cue Abdominales Poderosos commericial.
End Scene 2

3 comments:

Mike said...

I have to ask; a what crows?

Mike said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ann said...

Oh my! I am on the edge of my seat. What will happen next? :-o