Un Exito

Relay for Life keeps walkers close to home
Saturday, July 28, 2007
By Matt VandebunteThe Grand Rapids Press
COMSTOCK PARK -- The first four years after her mother died of cancer, Ingrid Fournier and the rest of "Barb's Bunch" walked in the Relay for Life of Rockford.
This year, the group is staying closer to home for its annual effort to honor the memory of Barbera Hekman, taking part in the American Cancer Society's first 24-hour walk-a-thon in Comstock Park.
"This is so much more meaningful," said Fournier, 40. "It belongs to Comstock Park now. We're doing this with neighbors and we're meeting new people. It's a community."
Fournier and her teammates from Zion Lutheran Church are one of 14 teams at the inaugural Comstock Park event, one of about 20 relays in West Michigan this year. Another relay is scheduled for next weekend at East Grand Rapids High School.
The Comstock Park walk started Friday afternoon and continues through 3 p.m. today, with people on the track the whole time to symbolize that cancer never sleeps.
To meet a $35,000 total fundraising goal, teams collect donations for the cancer society and during the relay sell food, toys and services out of large tents.
An evening ceremony was to feature candles inside decorated bags.
Held on the track at Comstock Park High School, the relay includes live entertainment and hourly themes such as a lap Friday in honor of Chris Pierson, a Greenridge Elementary School teacher who died in February 2006 of leukemia.

A note from the P.Suave Editorial Board: Both Barb's Bunch and the Comstock Park event as a whole exceeded their goals; a total of $35,100 was raised during this inaugural event, $1,590 of which by the Barb's Bunch team.

Que duerman bien,

Pepino Dormilon

Team Suave

Comstock Park: Teacher to be remembered
Thursday, July 26, 2007
By Matt Vande BunteThe Grand Rapids Press

PLAINFIELD TOWNSHIP -- Chris Pierson led her colleagues to Relay for Life events in Ada and Rockford on several occasions.
On Friday, when the American Cancer Society's 24-hour walk-a-thon comes to Comstock Park for the first time, staff and supporters of Greenridge Elementary School will again rally around the former special education teacher.
Pierson died of leukemia in early 2006, but many said she will be there in spirit at the inaugural event, scheduled to step off at 3 p.m. on the track at Comstock Park High School, 150 Six Mile Road NE.
Of the many special activity laps planned hourly, a Kids Lap with balloons and signs in honor of Pierson is slated for 4 p.m. Friday.
"You can just show up, even walk around the track to show your support," said Emily Garneau, a Greenridge office aide and co-captain of the school's relay team. "I'm sure she'd be happy that (Relay for Life) has come to Comstock Park. We just want to make her proud."
The relay will include about 16 teams that keep at least one member walking on the track until 3 p.m. Saturday. The public is invited to the fund-raiser, which will feature live music, volleyball and several activities planned by individual teams.
The Greenridge squad, for example, plans to set up a Hawaiian-themed tent where members will sell nail polishing and hair-braiding services.
Walkers are encouraged to take part in hourly themes including trick-or-treating, pajama party, jump roping and ball bouncing. A "Miss Relay" fundraiser at 8 p.m. Friday will crown the man dressed in drag who collects the most donations. At other times, people can pay $5 to change the song being played.
And at 9:30 p.m. Friday, a luminaria ceremony, featuring candles inside decorated bags, will honor cancer victims and survivors, as well as people still fighting the disease. Bags are available for $10 by calling Garneau at 647-4071.
Greenridge staff plan to remember Pierson by spelling out her name with one letter per bag.
"That is going to be very impressive to see," said Pierson's father, James Pierson, who will walk with his wife, Paula. "It really brings to light just how many people have died.
"We know that Chris would have been one of the organizers had she been here. (Relay) has been a very big part of our life, and especially my daughter's."
Chris Pierson died in February 2006 from complications with leukemia. She previously survived a bought with ovarian cancer and got active in Relay for Life, serving on an organizing committee for the Rockford relay.
Pierson's former students and their parents are invited to be part of the Greenridge team.
"She absolutely adored those children," James Pierson said. "They were her whole life."

Bob the Gorilla Editorial Board notes: Barb's Bunch, the famed relay team from Pepinoville, will be in attendance at the Comstock Park inaugural event, after a few years of participating in the Rockford Relay. Li'l Pepinita and cousins Salchicha, Bailarin, Fotografa, Linguista, and El Tigre, will be in attendance as well. Bompa Suave may dress and walk as a women (sic) if Pepina uses her communications degree effectively.

Andale,

P. Suave y La Junta Directiva Gorila

Los Chavitos

Above are some shots taken at the orphanage we visited outside of Cuernavaca. The bottom picture is the cafeteria and the orphans doing clean-up.

Me queda impresionado,

P.Suave

Traviesa

Li'l Pepinita is a caution. While in Mexico, we visited a spring-fed water park. It was 4-some acres of water ponds, pools, rivers, and crazy trial lawyer loving recreation stuff: cement diving boards, slippery cement steps, deep water with currents, swings, rope walks, Tarzan ropes, and so much more.
Li'l Pepinita is pictured here just before, and while, she jumped from about 20 feet into the mouth of the spring. The spring itself was about 40 feet wide and spewed hundreds of gallons of water every minute, feeding the park with crystal clear, cool water.
She surfaced unscathed several times. Her day was cut short, though, when she belly flopped 8 feet off the rope bridge into a swift river. I dropped my taco and dove in to assist mi vida, only to have her hand me her pink swim shoes so she could swim herself to shore. Hardy stock.


No nado nada,

Pepino S.

A Pezcar

Li'l Pepinita and cousin Salchicha passed the morning along the shores of Rio Dill. After using a dozen worms, and at least as many various lures, they went home fishless.

Me encanta el verano,

P. Daddy

Chicharrones

Chicharrones, called pork rinds on this side of the border, have no carbohydrates. Besides that, fried pork skins have nothing to contribute to overall health. Yet, they are crunchy, salty, melt-in-your-mouth delicious. I love them so much that, occasionally, I eat enough in one sitting to satisfy my saturated fat level for a month. Front-loading.

During our Mexico trip we had the opportunity to witness the confection of the tasty porcine treat. We visited a self-sustaining orphanage. That is, the residents (children from infants to teen-age) and the staff cultivate and prepare their own food. During our entire visit, I never saw an infant cultivating anything. They're such babies.

At the top of this entry, you see a coldron of hot oil with pig skin floating on top, followed by a picture of a future bag of pork rinds. Just below him is a wheel-barrow of slop gleaned from the cafeteria left-overs, and used to feed the hogs. You can also see the cooking area, with wood piled high to fuel the cooking fire. The last picture shows the pig pens (similar in sight and smell to Li'l Pepinita's bedroom).

Sabrosisimo,

Pepino Puerco

Independence Day

During our lay-over in Dallas today, soldiers began walking from their arrival gate along a mezzanine concourse above the airport mall. Everyone in the mall began to applaud. Those sitting stood up and clapped. Those wearing hats took them off and clapped. Little kids joined in, as did people from all walks of life. Some folks had tears in their eyes. Everyone applauded until the last soldier was out of sight.

Dichoso ser Norteamericano,

P. Suave

Volvemos

Gemela and Li'l Pepinita became fast friends during our short journey to Cuernavaca. Although tears were shed when we had to leave, we were thrilled that Li'l Pepinita had a great experience (thanks to our new friends Paco, Cheli. and sweet Gemela, our hosts during our stay).
Muchas gracias to nieghbor Pelotero and two of the four best grandparents in the world, Bompa and Abuelita for caring for La Gata Diabolica and the Hacienda Suave during our absence.

!Viva America!

P. Gringo Andariego Suave

Llegamos

La Familia Suave arrived in Cuernavaca yesterday afternoon. We met our Mexican Family (the folks that will be rooming and bording us for the week) almost immediatly after arriving. They took us to their beautiful home, where Li´l Pepinita was thrilled to find out that they have an 8 year-old daughter! The two girls spent the rest of the afternoon and night playing. This morning, she spent five ours in a class with two other girls and two boys. She´s loving that, too.
Mama Pepina and I spent the morning in classes, too.
More later.

Siempre primavera aqui,


Peps

Universal

Double click on the title, "Universal" above (or go to www.universal-spanish.com), and you'll get an idea of where La Familia Suave will be spending our days next week.
Universal is a language school in Cuernavaca (Morelos, Mexico). On Monday, we will join a group of students, parents, and the principal of Pepina's school who have already spent a week of study, field trips, and fun at Universal. We plan to catch up fast as we join them during the seecond week of the adventure.


Hasta luego,

P. Viajero

La Carnicera

Las Chicas Suave visited The Butcher of Pepinoville yesterday. Li'l Pepinita had six inches of locks lopped off within minutes, Pepina two. You'd think The Butcher got paid by the inch.
To be honest, they do look sassy.

Una casa con poco pelo,

P. Pelado

La Mumia del Sotano

If you turn your head side-ways you'll see Li'l Pepinita disguised as a Mummy. I left her in the basement unsupervised, as I putzed upstairs. After a long and suspicious silence, she came lumbering into the office, grunting and bumping into walls and furniture on the way.

Mi hija es una locura,

Papi Peppi

El Verano

Summer's officially here. The piddling of sprinklers, the fever-induced-nightmare-like music of the ice cream truck (How does "She'll Be Coming Around The Mountain When She Comes", on a loop, on synthesized organ, sell more ice cream? Ice cream sells itself, if you ask 'ol Pepino. Why not just have the sound of the truck's engine idling be the only sound. Lord knows a kid figures out the ice cream truck is coming using a far keener sense than mere sound. I think a kid knows whats coming when the ice cream truck guy turns the ignition back at the ice cream truck depot. Uncanny. Save the "I'm Popeye the Sailor Man" keyboarded loop for outing deposed dictators from monasteries, for crying out loud. Sorry, I've digressed), the slap of the sandal, the hum of the fan all welcomes in the dog days of summer.
Featured here during these vernal days will be accounts of the Familia Suave's travails to beat the heat sans air conditioning, their struggle to consume one ice cream per day, and updates on the progress of the family tomato plant (thanks for watering it Grandma Suave).

Llega el calor,

P. Suave

Bang! Pow! Boom!

Due to Opa's health concerns, La Familia Sauve had postponed our summer journey south of the border. We will leave early next week, while sister Agronima and neices Bailarina y Barista take care of things Opa.
Li'l Pepinita has become a raquetball nut. Since Tio Chris came to town with his raquet, she has acquired a keen interest in slapping balls against walls. We've played twice this week at the YPCA, and she still hasn't had enough.
Do my words seem a little droopy? Do you sense some fatigue in ol' Pepino? Pardon the malaise, but I'm still catching up on sleep lost due to the Nieghborly Pyromaniac Nightly Firework Display performed by our Pepinoville nieghbors. Seems a calendar and local ordinance codes need be sent to our fair firebugs. Last count, our sleepy lane consists of 4 babies, 11 school-age children, and several twitchy house pets that might be considered before lighting illegal explosives well before an appropriate occasion.
We'll be gone on the 4th....

Bomba,

Pepino Vecino

Pepinita

Pepinita has got a new entry - hot off the press. Click on Li'l Pepinita on the side bar, and enjoy.

Un padre orgulloso,

Papi Pepi

Muy Agradecido

Included on my list of Professions That Deserve A Hearty Slap On The Back (PTDAHSOTB) are health care folks, especially nurses and neo-nurses. Thank you, on behalf of all things Pepino.
Mr. Health Care Professional Guy/Gal, this one is for you.

Les agradecimos,

La Familia Suave

El Fin De La Temporada Escolar

School's out. No more teacher's dirty looks (Note to self: work on getting along with colleagues). Anyway, here we are, the time of year everyone and their brother envies Pepino's job. Stay tuned for a new special feature, the Pickled Summer Vacation BlogLog (What a Teacher Does When School's Out). In the meantime, I leave you with an excerpt from a recent education association newsletter. After a few seconds of Google research, I found it to be fictional, but still something a weary educator can identify with (and laugh at) - pardon the dangle:

The following is an answering machine message for the Pacific Palisades High School in California. The school and teachers were being sued by parents who wanted their children's failing grades changed to passing grades even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes.
This was voted unanimously by the office staff as the actual answering machine message for the school:
"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting with the right staff member, please listen to all your options before making a selection:
To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
To make excuses for why your child did not do his/her work - Press 2
To complain about what we do - Press 3
To swear at staff members - Press 4
To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several fliers mailed to you - Press 5
If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7
To request another teacher for the third time this year - Press 8
To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
To complain about school lunches - Press 0
If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable/responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework, and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child(ren)'s lack of effort, hang up and have a nice day!"

Alice Cooper lo decia,

Pepino Veranero

Yankees/Red Sox

O.K. I went to Boston last weekend and was supposed to write about it while I was there. I was too busy getting there and getting back to write. So I'll provide a Boston BlogLog, patent pending:

1. Drive to Pepinoville International Airport and the show begins.
2. Fly backwards in time to Chicage, only to arrive the same time I left Pepinoville.
3. Dask to my gate for the next flight. Mid-dash purchase water for the same price as a gallon of gas.
4. Arrive in Boston, walk to bus shuttle, get off at T-station, and take the train to downtown. I'm at my hotel within a half-hour, plane-to-lobby. Love that muddy water.
5. As I cross the lobby, my Pepino Phone rings, its our friend Meeker on the line, a Beantown resident, telling me she'll meet me in twenty minutes.
6. I'm led on a history-walk thrue downtown Boston, led by dear Meeker. We stop and watch the Yankee/Red Sox game at every bar along the walk. We libate, too.
7. Hear the tune, "Love that Muddy Water" on a constant loop in my head.
8. After too little time, see Meeker off, and attend some serious sit n' git meetings.
9. Repeat steps 1,2, 3, and 4 in reverse, and arrive in the wee hours of Monday morning.

Me encanta el lodo,

Peppy

P.D. Mil gracias Meeker. Volvemos pronto...

Memorial Day

"A heroe is someone who has given his or her life for something bigger than oneself"

-Joseph Cambell

Once

Eleven years ago today Pepina and I exchanged vows. Padre Sayers said we'd love each other less that day than we would the rest of our lives. Although we raised an eyebrow at the celebate monk, his words ring true. In fact, tonight we've agreed to have a go at it another eleven years.

Eleven is heaven.

Un esposo contentisimo,

P. Suave de Pepina

Semana Soleada

• Li'l Pepinita got a double. Yesterday, she stepped up to the plate and sent a ball into the outfield. As a veteran in the coach-pitch softball league, the girl is hitting her stride. Last year she watched alot of balls, and struck out tons, too. We're not sure she even had fun. This year, she is running out to position, running into the bench, and laughing all the time. Swatting the ball like she is paid to. It helps that her team mates are enjoying the game and learning, as well.
• Bompa, Grandma, Pepina, Li'l Pepinita and Yo spent yesterday afternoon playing in the sun at family friend Ardy's house. We tore up part of her yard, planted stuff, and fetched a stuck Pepinita out of a tree. In the evening, Ardy treated us to pizza, ice cream, and a Skippo game or two at Opa's house.
• Li'l Pepinita and her Li'l Pal sang a duet, "Jesus Take the Wheel", in her school's talent show last week. They're Idol bound one day.
• I got the blade off the lawn mower, finally.
• How 'bout them gas prices.
• Can't beat the weather.

I think I've run out of points to bullet. Enjoy your week. I will.

Atentamente,

P. Suave

Dia de las Madres

I am Mama Suave's son. Three other fortunate souls on this earth can stake that claim. Periodista, Casi Italiano, young Monja, and myself have had our lives nurtured by the sweet lady from Coram avenue. She raised us as the child bride of a Detroit Policeman in a two bedroom bungalow across the street from her childhood home. By the time she had reached my current level of "maturity", her youngest was college-age. Today she is the swashbuckling investment broker for the Suave Family Fortune and the matriarch of a cross-country legacy, most of whose members still leave the seat up.
We raise our glasses of 2% milk and toast you, Mom, the author of our days...

Tu hijo orgulloso,

Peppy

Hermano Crispy

Our neighborhood had alleys. An alley wasn't just for garbage. A whole underground of activities transpired on the double track that split the backyards from one side of the block to the other. Bird catching, tag games, rock throwing, and, to my brother's chagrin, match-lighting. I was the resident pyro, and Casi Italiano was a semi-innocent bystander. I had just learned the skill of setting a whole book of matches on fire and called over to CI, "Hey come look!" My myopic brother did just that, his head bent down toward my hands, squinting at me as I fumbled with the matches. My mini-inferno flamed up and set CI's hair on fire. I started slapping at him like Curly on Mo. CI had no idea why I was accosting him until his scalp starting burning, then he started auto-slapping. We must have been a picture. Once extinguished, CI started picking at his singed hair. Finally, he flashed a look at me that I had become accustomed to; a mixture of contempt, dismay, astonishment, with a sprinkle of anger.
There you have it, THE DAY I SET CASI ITALIANO'S HEAD ON FIRE

No soy ningun bombero,

Pepster

Cabeza Quemada

Did I tell you about the time I set Casi Italiano's head afire?
America decides: if you want to hear about my brother's burning coco, comment below. Don't want to wast your time. If atleast five americans, or ten of foreign origin, comment requesting the narrative, I will oblige. No comments? More cut and past articles about American education issues. So there.

Esperando su respuesta,

P. "Fosforo" Suave

Not On The Front Page

From CNN Online:

The cost of educating border-crossing children


POSTED: 9:01 p.m. EDT, April 29, 2007 CNN News Online
HOUSTON, Texas (AP) -- Thousands of Mexican children are flocking across the U.S. border to attend school, sparking a debate in towns along the border over whether U.S. taxpayers should have to bear the costs of educating them.
The border crossing is so common in El Paso that officials opened a special lane just for students this month.
The Houston Chronicle reported Sunday that more than 1,200 people passed through that lane from Mexico on a recent morning.
Some were college or private school students, but many were coming to attend public schools.
The influx has prompted complaints from those opposed to spending U.S. tax dollars to teach students from Mexico.
The issue is especially timely in El Paso, where the school district -- which expects to take in 10,000 new students in the next five to eight years -- is preparing for a $230 million bond election for new schools next month.
Elaine Hampton, a professor at the University of Texas-El Paso, says the strained state of public education in Mexico pushes many students across the Rio Grande, just as the hope of better jobs entices their parents.
The growth of Mexican border towns like Ciudad Juarez far outpaces the government's ability to build schools, Hampton said, forcing many to turn away students. Mexican schools also can be too expensive for some parents, charging fees for books, photocopies and sometimes even the cost of administering a test.
Although many school officials are unhappy about the situation, they say there are few ways to control the number of Mexican residents attending their schools.
As long as a parent or guardian has proof of residency in that school district -- such as a water bill or lease -- their child can attend. Many of the students were born in U.S. hospitals, making them U.S. citizens who live in Mexico. Others use the addresses of American friends or relatives.
Community pressure has pushed other districts to crack down on those who violate residency requirements.
Susan Carlson, a spokeswoman for the United ISD in Laredo, said her district's schools are extra vigilant with residency checks and recently began fining students found breaking residency rules.
Luis Villalobos, a spokesman for the El Paso Independent School District, said the district has seven officers checking out potentially false addresses.
Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

Se Cae

Did I tell you about one of the times Casi Italiano almost died? It was a cool autumn afternoon in the late 70's. The three siblings Suave - Periodista, Casi Italiano and myself were playing Public Safety Officers and Fleeing Suspects on the vacant property on Pigeon beach, next to the abondoned cottage. While Periodista and I were hugging the ground shooting each other, Casi Italiano climbed an old weeping willow tree and dangled above us. Periodista and I were absorded in our efforts to riddle each other with imaginary bullets, when Casi Italiano appeared between us in a puff of dust. He fell belly-first with a muffled thud, and bounced once. He didn't move for awhile. Niether did Periodista or I, caught as we were between wanting to laugh at how funny this was, or panic and shriek like school girls. Eventually we hurried over to our fallen brother and poked him a bit, saying, "Hey, get up", and "Are you all right?". For what seemed an eternity the boy didn't breath. We gathered him up and shook him a bit, and he finally sucked in some air. Once he appeared to have come to his senses we let go and headed for home. Except Casi Italiano didn't follow, he just rambled on a path back through the field. We caught up to him and gave him the test we'd seen given to boxers on t.v. shows, "What's your name?", "What day is it?", "How many fingers...". We just got grunts from the poor lad.
We brought him back to Erie house with much effort, as he attempted to ramble away every few yards. Granny, shocked to see a catotonic kid stumble into the house, put him to bed with a wet rag on his forehead.
In the next installment of The Times That Casi Italiano Almost Died I will recount for the Dear Reader the time Yours Truly set Casi Italiano's head on fire.

Que dichosos somos,

Peps

Sheryl Crow

I am a fan of Sheryl Crow. She is a real big celebrity. She sings. She writes songs. She performs. Hence, I go to her for advice. Actually, she comes to me with her advice. As well, she comes to government officials with her advice and wags her talented finger.
Recently Sheryl offered us the latest in Celebrity Two-Bits We Didn't Solicit (CTBWDS). She wants us to use a nary one square of toilet paper @ sitting to address natures call, maybe a couple more on sittings when nature is more aggressive. This she brainstormed between gigs on her tour bus.
May I opine? A few suggestions for my Sheryls and Bruces and Chicks and Shawn Penns and whatnot:

1. Go acoustic. Always.
2. Refrain from electronic amplification of your voice or instruments.
3. Interviews should be done only with journalists using notebooks and pencil. Shoot, notebooks and pencils are the Auschwitz of our forests... Don't do interviews.
4. Use public transportation. And green public transportation, at that. Don't disappoint. I'd be broken hearted to see Angela and Brad lugging their gaggle of kiddies in a non-hybrid taxi.
5. Concerts should be lit by natural lighting. Day shows only.
6. All celebrities should live and pontificate in communal villages that put in to practice ideas sprung from very fortunate people with lots of leisure time and a huge public platform from which to spew.

Think of it. My ideas, adopted by real smart celebrities, and this world will be as green as a pickle....

Boca chancleta,

Profesor Suave

En Huelga

Pardon the sabbatical. I was protesting the weather.

Now it is nice; seventy degrees and sunny.

I blog again.

Llegue,

Peps

Llega la Primavera

Spring is in the air. Somewhere. As I shoveled my drive this week, I planned my spring projects. Shoving slush to the side, I began to prioritize the projects by cost, time to complete, and marital stress. The cost criteria has been made simple, thanks to the economy. Our budget for the season is the sum total of our returnables in the garage. That knocks off the patio project, which would have been directed by Bompa Suave.
Bompa didn't volunteer, it is just that he has an impressive wood deck background. Over several years he and a swarthy gang of buddies, weekend carpenters all, have managed to install a wood deck that spans the entire north shore of Lake Erie. Although dear Pepina and I plan on a low-key 12x12 affair, Bomps might wind up engineering a deck that would render my lawnmower useless.
The shed project is off the list, too. The Suave one-car garage is that in theory only. The Asian Express is parked sideways in bad weather, its so tight in there. You can open the car, reach out, and open the house without getting out of the car. Yes, a shed would be nice. That is, if there is room for it after the deck is built.
Reality is, our spring projects consist of fueling the lawnmower and then cutting the lawn on a regular basis. It we are especially motivated, we might apply water, sparingly.

Gozando de la primavera,

P. Suave

The Captain

Mr. Steve Yzerman, the Red Wing legend, visited Pepinoville tonight. He dropped the puck to begin the game. Li'l Pepinita appeared on the big screen holding her Red Wings poster. It was a fitting night of fun as we celebrated El Lector's birthday with many of his friends and family in attendance.

Cinco por pelear,

Pepino "Blue Line" Suave

BlogLog 4

1. Coffee/Potty routine
2. Newspaper check routine
3. Get pretty for church
4. Church
5. Opa's for dinner. Li'l Pepinita choose rollerblading as our after-dinner activity. We rollerbladed around the Villa Abuela (depending on the time of year, all of Li'l Pepinita's surviving grandparents live in the same apartment complex), only falling twice. Upon returning to Opa's apartment, we watched Bonanza. I miss that show.
6. Returned home to putz.
We're still putzing, but looking forward to the highlight of the evening: America's Favorite Videos. Get your popcorn...

Gozando de la vida,

P. "Vago" Suave

BlogLog 3.5 or "Vacation, All I Ever Wanted"

Here I provide you with the remainder of Vacation Day 1, continued from yesterday's entry, everything that happened after I retrieved the paper, but merely in sequential order. I will not date stamp Suave BlogLogs for the rest of vacation, as Pepinita is mildly irritated that I check my watch whenever anything is said or done. Sorry. Happy wife, happy life.).

Post newspaper reading:

1. Li'l Pepinita arises from the two-thirds of a super-California-king size bed that she has occupied since she shifted from her bedroom to ours in the wee hours of the morning. She has superhuman stretching powers - she can elongate her 85 pounds of body mass to occupy the same space that the largest man on earth could occupy, lying prostrate. Some girl. Pepina and I go to the chiropractor often to offset of sleeping on a portion of the matress equivalent to an army cot.
2. Li'l Pepinita walks into the dinning room and exclaims, "I'm hungry". I make pancakes. She eats them as quickly as I make 'em. As she chews, she reveals her plans for April Fools Day. It's secret. I can't tell.
3. Pepina awakes. She ambles into the dining room holding her forehead. Bingo. First head cold of vacation*
4. Pepina shares with us a book idea she has, then proceeds to go off to the office and begin writing it. I take the pancakes to her, hence the sticky keyboard that now plagues me as I post this entry. Note that Pepina is often inspired musically or literally. What separates her from the mortals is her tendency to act on the inspiration. Immediately.
5. Li'l Pepinita tends to her hygiene while I mop up the kitchen and Pepina reads us her first draft.
6. Spring putzing. Three hours of clean this, move that, smell it, etc. Our first day of spring cleaning is usually "freestyle" putzing. We just keep moving, and let our creative side guide us. During our first session, our major accomplishments included: Pepina sterilized the bathroom, I moved the firewood from the garage to the backyard, and Li'l Pepinita inventoried her dominoes.
7. Lunch/read/nap
8. YPCA. While Pepina stayed home to nurse her vacation illness, Li'l Pepinita and I went to the YPCA. We usually begin our workout with one half-hour on the tredmill. Li'l Pepinita walks while watching cartoons, and I run while watching CNN. Why, this particular day a very polite YPCA assistant informed us that you had to be 10 years old to be on the machine. All this winter we had been breaking policy! We looked at each other in shock. We had broken a rule for health! Shaking it off, Talea moved one machine over to the bike and pedaled until Sponge Bob was over, then we went to the pool.
9, We arrived home, water still in our ears, to a homemade dinner, Mom sitting at the table waiting for us. I felt like Mr. Cleaver. 'Twas a tasy feast: nachos, salad, rice and beans, and yogurt and pineapple for dessert.
10. The girls watched/I slept through that baseball movie about the old pitcher/coach/science teacher (Dennis Quade) that made it to the Bigs.
11. I put Li'l Pepinita to bed, or visa versa
12. Lights out in the Sauve abode. Day 1 put to rest.

Descanso mucho,

P. Suave

*The Suave clan has a Kennedyesque tragic quality. We fall ill only during major holidays. We've fallen into the grip of pneumonia, bronchial infections, sinus infections, flu, and colds mostly during Thanksgiving and Easter holidays. It is an unsettling irony considering the fact that we enjoy fabulous good fortune during business hours. Ah, fate.

BlogLog 3 - Vacation Edition

You asked for it, Suave Fans. Only here do we provide you with the ever-popular Pepino Sauve BlogLog - Vacation Edition. That's right, spring break began at 11:30 a.m. yesterday, when my little charges went charging out of the doors of Bob the Gorila's Home for Wayward Mocosos. To begin, I'll briefly log the morning, as the day has only just begun (does that make you hum a Carpenter's tune?), and then periodically BlogLog throughout our week of leisure:

6:15 Wake up breathing like an asthmatic, only to discover Anglela La Gata Diabolica, the inspiration of my first entry of vacation, sitting on my head.
6:16 Pad to the kitchen and fix a pot of coffee
6:19 Pad to the door to check for the paper, in vain (who am I kidding?)
6:23 Stretch in front of the t.v. As I do Pepino Yoga, I view an O.J. Simpson documentary on MSNBC, sip coffee, and avoid squashing a tenacious cat.
6:35 Inspired, I sit at the computer and begin my first entry of vacation, entitled, "La Gata Diabolica", literary candy about the family cat (see below), while checking for the morning paper every five minutes, in vain.
7:15 Succesfully retrieve the daily paper from the stoop, bring it into the office and finish this entry.

Stay tuned for more.

Leo el periodico,

Peps

La Gata Diabolica

The photo above was just taken. It is a picture of the Suave family pet, Angela La Gata Diabolica. As I write these words, she is perched on the windowsill just to my left and above my head. She peers down at me as I craft this esoteric entry. We have obscured her eyes to help protect her anonimity. Once the picture is snapped, we take out the glowing red contacts, and leave Angela La Gata Diabolica in peace. We thank her for her help and patience in creating this post for our readership.
Angela la Gata Diabolica has been freeloading off the Familia Suave fortune since October. We welcomed her into our home upon Pepinita's 8th going on 21st birthday in October. Pepinita loves Angela, and versa visa. Still, fate may never have tossed the feline into our otherwise petless lives. If it weren't for the goodwill of Stosh the Pepinoville drunk, the Suave abode would be without a furry mooch. Yes, it was Stosh the Drunk who finally tired enough for me to pry the cat from his musty, street weary arms, and accept an economically-sized bottle of Pepperment libation in return. Although his weeping obscured his words, Stosh the Drunk seemed grateful. He raised a grimy eyebrow and said, and I paraphrase because his blubbering left him even more inarticulate than usual but with a queer old English accent, "My gratitude for tearing this burden from me, in exchange for this bottle of rotgut, you rogue....", he rambled. Street people. Anyway, I got a cat for my kid, and forcibly relieved an indigent of some worry. All in a day.
So that is how I came to have a cat stare at me from above while I tap out this essay. When not freaking me out, Angela the Gata Diabolica entertains Pepinita by letting herself be prodded, carried, tossed, and pulled. In between these torture sessions she sleeps in the sun, eats expensive cat food, poops and pees in expensive cat litter, and sits on our heads if we so much as stop moving for a moment.
Thank you Stosh the Drunk for the cat. It only took me a few days to wash the stench of the street from Angelica and myself. I will always consider our frenzied wrestling match for the cat a struggle of love. I only wish the police felt the same.

La gata me mira como la bruja que es,

P. Suave el Distinguido

Line-Leader of the Future

Kindergartner Being Groomed For Line-Leader Position

BELLE MEADE, TN—Kindergarten teacher and mentor Mrs. Allen believes 6-year-old Gregory Hutter "has what it takes" for the coveted post.

Pepino Pals/Educational reformers: Read this about tomorrow's hope; the kindergarten line-leader. Double click on the title of the article for more.

Todo educativo,

Profesor Suave

Junior Varsity Frenesi

Pictured above are some of the finest, most intellegent, photogenic students in Cuke County. They are playing the Junior Varsity version of the mad-cap fast-past game of Frenzy. Each student has a beautifully illustrated body part card. As the dealer gives a card to each student, the kids shout out, in Spanish, the name of the card ("Rey", "Diez", "Caballero"), until two kids get two of the same cards. Those two kids have to shout out the other kids designated body part first (ties go to the traditional "Piedra, Papel, Tijeras" (Rock, Paper, Scissors) tie-breaker). Loads of fun, tears and jeers included.

Me pagan por eso,

Profesor Suave

Maestro Raro ll

Here, a fabulously talented second grader points to one of the three "ojos" of the wierd teacher illustration, a Bob el Gorila rite of passage.

No diga a nadie,

Profesor Suaveson

El Maestro Raro

The Maestro Raro activity is the Spanish class equivalent to the Bar Mitzva. Early each spring, Yippee Skippee second graders identify facial features of the Wierd Teacher and become official Junior Varsity members of the Bob el Gorila Experience.

Above, Juan Diego Pasqual de la Mancha Raul Jackson is about to point out one of the two noses of the Weird Teacher. Congrats, Juan Diego, you are now one of us.

Super Orgulloso,

Prof. Suave

Mas Varsity Frenesi

You can feel the competitive tension as varsity members of the March Madness Frenzi tournament is played on table 2, featuring the illustrations: El papa lee, el muchacho compra, la muchacha hace un sandwich de bologna, and finally the fan favorite, el hombre vende tortillas. May the best chamaco win!

Atentamente,

Prof. Suave

Varsity Frenesi

There is nothing quite like the level of play in a Varsity Frenzy match. Picured above are competitors at table 1, where the highest level of competition can be found. Featured illustrations are: El caballo pregunta, El hombre lleva tortillas, El muchacho va, and El papa se sienta. Hold on to your sillas.

No se puesta nada,

Prof. Suave

Caricaturas

The winter blues, mid-age funk, the-world-coming-to-and-end getting to you? Pepino S. has the answer for you: the daily cartoons. Watching/listening/reading the daily news slowly began to effect ol' Peppy. Iraq, angry conservatives, angry liberals, the economy, shockingly inept people-in-leadership, missing children, failed good guys, successful bad guys, all worked its way to make Yours Truly truly befuddled. News wasn't informing, it was simply depressing.
Until I turned to the daily comics. I'm not burying my head in the sand, no, I'm burying my head in Peanuts, Dennis the Menace, et al. Anything illustrated with a pen except Doonesbury (my fellow cartoon jonsers call it "Doomsbury").
Join us in our fight against media enhanced reality. Escape to the comics.

Salgo de la realidad,

Pepino "Mandrake" Suave

El Rostro

The youngsters at Bob the Gorila's Home for Wayward Guerkins help create the portrait of Yours Truly featured above. Students were ordered, in Spanish, to grab a marker and draw a particular facial feature. The final product contained dos narices, dos ojos grandes, y un ojo chiquito, cuatro oidos, una boca grande, y mucho pelo. They were pleased with their work. I was unsettled.

Mas feo que el diablo,

Profesor Suave

Futbol

Yea, I know. I am supposed to have an entry filled with profundity and dry wit this morning. Alas, it has been a long week without Pepino Parsed Prose, hasn't it Pepino Heads? Inspiration will have to wait 'till after Li'l Pepinita's futsol double-header this afternoon. We get two hours of pre-adolescent female athletics. This is one event in which the fans (parents) are much more interested in the match than the participants (girls).....

Hasta pronto,

Pepino Fanatico

Fresco

An uneventful week in Pepinoville, home of things Suave. Weather turns towards spring, and a slow, sunny melt has turned the fluff into slush. Nieghbors meet at the end of the driveway and bang on ice, attempting to reclaim cement lost months ago. Cars carry a film of salt dust, and every other mailbox leans away from the snow plow or inexperienced driver that tapped them during the previous storms.
Futsol season nears an end as mitts and bats come up from the basement. The YMCA is less crowded. Humans begin to outnumber the geese at the park. The river unfroze.
I think I'll go sort out my shorts. Maybe take my bike off the garage rafter.

Llega la primavera,

Pepino S.

Pepino Musical

Pepino Suave's "London Bridges" remix, "Orejas, Ojos, Nariz, Boca", has become a Yippie Skippie Top Ten hit throughout Pepinoville and the greater Pepinoville area. Kids are singing it in the hallways, minivans, and living rooms across the county. As they point to the appropriate facial features, the kids belt out the simple, yet inspired tune. Meanwhile, parents wince in pain.
The lyrics, for our Readers, are provided below, free of charge. No obligation. Keep your wallet in your pocket:

Orejas, ojos, nariz, boca

Nariz, boca

Nariz, boca

Orejas, ojos, nariz, boca

Mucho pelo!

Ears, eyes, nose, mouth

Nose, mouth

Nose, Mouth

Ears, eyes, nose, mouth

Lots of hair!

As the last line is sung, we run our fingers through our hair, or pat our pate, depending our own own personal hair line. Many Pepino Pupils take the opportunity, each time the song is performed, to point out the irony of my participation in the song. Bless the children.

Me pagan por eso,

Profesor Suave

Las Mananitas

Tomorrow, Pepina celebrates 40 years on this pickled planet. My child bride is all growed up. Li'l Pepinita and I set out to take her on a Two Score Tour of the State. We had planned on taking her a few hours North to cross-county ski with her shiny-new cross country skis (hand selected by P.Suave His Self). Ironically, six inches of snow fell during the March Pepinoville night, and we got stuck in our own driveway at the outset of the journey. We decided on a much shorter trip. We found ourselves at a snow board park a nary 20 minutes from Casa Suave. Pepina and Li'l Pepinita giggled and tumbled for a few hundred acres, and then returned to the shed for hot cocoa. We're renting a room about five city blocks from our home, and are pretending we are at a ski lodge up North.
It's working.
See ya' on the slopes.

Demasiado nieve,

Pepino Resbaloso

Joe & Pete

The 324th annual Winter Series of Euchre With the Boys tournament was held this weekend in slippery Pepinoville. Pepina and I competed against each other, teamed with the Detroit Duo of Joe (my mate) and Pete (Pepina's partner), for two days of neck-to-neck Euchre competition. The 24 hour throw-down was only interrupted by a hockey game and a short nap. By the time the Motor City Mad Men left, the result was:

Joe and Pepino S. 10 games won
Pete and Pepina, 9 games won

A pity game was held just before the Mad Men's departure. The results of which are inconsequential.

The 325th Annual Summer Series of Euchre with the Boys will be held during a Pepinoville Pukes homestretch in July. Joe and I expect a repeat in the heat.

Good game.

Ganamos,

P. "Baraja" Suave

P.D. Those who have followed the august Euchre Series with the Boys might expect a bitter entry regarding this weekend's competition on beloved Pepina's blog soon. Give her time...

PD2 Reruns. Refer to the July 23, 2006 entry about Joe and Pete's last visit to Pepinoville for the 324th Summer Series of Euchre with the Boys. It was another hallmark weekend. It was the one that Talea faced her mascotophobia, and we all received free bread. Check it out.

Una Conversacion Estudiantil

Exhibit 1 of "The Attention Span of a First Grade Language Class":

Teacher asks class, in Spanish, "What day is it today?" (translated for the monolingual)
Girl walks up to teacher, "My dad's in the hospital."
Teacher, "Your dad's in the hospital? What happened?"
Girl replies, "His arm hurts so they're going to take out his tonsils and a piece of his tongue."
Teacher, in shocked tone, "Oh me, oh my!"

***Hours later***

Girl's dad, "Hi Profesor Suave. How's trix?"

Teacher, "Hi Girl's Dad. Say, hear tell your arm hurts, so they're trimming some meat off you?!"

Girl's Dad, "Some HMO, no?"

Me pagan por eso,

Prof. Suave

The Intrepid Fallen Heroes

No apologies for my absence this week, Pepino Pals. My legion of faithful readers should not be neglected of my pickled prose, but as Popeye would say, "I have me reasons". It's not just that I've been busier than an armless man in a slap-face competition. It's mainly because I havent' had the usual healthy, wholesome, warm and fuzzy thoughts to jot down for my readership to read and enjoy/cherish/pass on to co-workers. I'm mad. As mad as a dilled egg. Below I have excerpted a description of a cause that is beyond worthy. It is an obligation.
I have no problem with the Fund, of course. What does put vinegar in my jar is related reports of neglect and mismanagement at an older part of the Brooke Army Medical Center, where the new state-of-the-art facility is located. I've learned most about the story on MSNBC's Imus in the Morning Show, but have found little more about it on t.v., radio, or the internet. Time to write a letter to some elected politicos. Maybe bill Halliburton for repairs. Why isn't this a headline? Our maimed soldiers come home to mold in the rooms they rehabilitate in? Leaking ceilings? Crumbling walls?
Pardon the bile. Below is a blurb about the good, fuzzy side of the story:

The Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund has completed construction of a world-class state-of-the-art physical rehabilitation facility for wounded warrior at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio, Texas.
The Center will serve military personnel who have been catastrophically disabled in operations in Iraq and Afghanistan. The Center will also serve military personnel and veterans severely injured in other operations and in the normal performance of their duties, combat and non-combat related.
Although sufficient funding has been received for the construction costs, the Fund is accepting donations to provide additional services for our wounded military and veteran heroes and their families. These services may include facilities for patients' children, additional medical equipment and supplies, medical research to improve the care of patients, or other areas relating to the Center's activities including the patients and their families. One hundred percent of contributions to the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund will continue to go to these services, with nothing taken out for the Fund's administrative costs.

If you are considering a donation: www.fallenheroesfund.org or double click on The Intrepid Fallen Heroes title above this entry.


Malhumorado,

P. Suave

El Sillon de Bompa

This is Bompa's chair. It resides in our house, La Casa Suave. I stole it. However, I refer to the chair as my "pre-inheritance". You see, the reclyner was offered to me by my mother, the author of my life, prior to their move South. According to Bompa, Mom neglected to confer with Pops. We have re-constructed the scenario and presume their conversation went as such: Mom said, "Tim's taking your seat", and Dad heard, "Tim is talking to Pete", or something like that. During the confusion, I snuck into town with my 260 pound friend, his wirey son, and a trailor. In a wink, and under the cover of night, we offed with the seat of snoozes before Dad was the wiser.

To this day, when visiting, Bompa often sits in the chair and sighs. They are the sighs of memories lost.

See ya' by the fire...

Super comodo,

Pepino Siesta

Un Dia de Instruccion

One of my schools has a principal whose weekly routine includes writing a note to staff, and another to parents. Both notes include calendar items, birthdays, and the like. What I look forward to is his letter to staff and parents. He takes the time to write a note to each audience. I have enjoyed and been informed by his reflections and observations of his school. This week's note to staff I just had to share with you Pepino Heads. I think it would be appreciated by my pickled pals.
He begins by stating that we face a pretty busy week next week, and that he is providing some humor to get us "started with a smile on our face". Here is what followed:

Betty-Ann decided that instead of checking out books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names, telling them they were signing a "contract" for returning the books on time. Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see her.He was used to Mrs. G. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to Betty-Ann, giving her his name as he did so. Betty-Ann pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust. Before Betty-Ann could even begin her speech, the boy said, "Mrs. G can write."

Sondra was watching her classroom while the students were drawing. She noticed one little girl working especially intently so she walked over and asked the little girl what she was drawing. "I'm drawing God, " the girl replied. Sondra paused and said, "but no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "they will in a minute."

Mr. K was teaching a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face. So then, why is it that while I'm standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A student quickly shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty"

Me pagan por eso,

Profesor Sauve

Grannyism

Tickled to Death

This phrase didn't sound so macabre when Granny used it. "Tickled to death" replace "thrilled" or "ecstatic" in Granny's lexicon. Some examples:

"Ron primed the pump. I'll be thrilled to death to take a shower again."

"I'd be thrilled to death if the ol' fart calls B-12, and I win the pot."

"Pay the Man, again? I'll bet you're thrilled to death to beat your old Granny out of all her nickles."

Encantado,

Pepino Nieto

Todavia

Cold continues. There's a coating of ice on the kitchen window sill. Streets and driveways are flanked by piles of last week's snow. The furnace runs like an Arab's dream. It's February in Cuke County.
While folks in warmer climates smirk and turn there faces to the sun, just remember Southern Man, the chill keeps our cockroaches small. Your insects could be mounted and road. You could ride a Florida roach in order to lasoo a Florida fire ant, they're so big.
We don't want them around, anyhow.
Enjoy your warmth, Southern Man.

Del Norte,

Pepino Nordico